The blog Galt Gone Wild suggests that Sarah Palin is my girlfriend. The truth is that I can’t justify the commute from New York city to Wasilla, an all-day ordeal by airplane, SUV, and, when the roads prove impassable, gas-guzzling snowmobile. The carbon impact would be simply unconscionable. Find me an aerodynamic hang glider that could make the trip in style and we’ll talk.
Then, of course, there is my respect for the sanctity of marriage, and my fear of death. Despite my modest size and citified bearing, I like to think that I could hold my own in a fair fight. But could I take on an enraged Todd Palin and a pair of hypnotized grizzlies with a taste for human flesh? I’m not so sure.
My perhaps irrational fear of grizzlies, which I share with Stephen Colbert, is the central reason why I’m such a firm defender of the right to keep and bear arms. I’m also a staunch defender of the right to bare arms and many other lesser-known constitutional rights, like the right to party.