You ask for predictions, you got ’em. Without any further ado, the top ten for 2014 are:
A do-nothing-Congress in 2014 will look back wistfully on the productive days of 2013.
Canadians will stand on the border, look south, and not see the Keystone XL pipeline.
The Obama administration will use fingers, toes, abaci, and not find 7 million participants in the Obamacare exchanges. The escapees will rejoice.
The Fed, CFTC, SEC, OCC, and FDIC will convene their third internal conference: “How to enforce the Volcker Rule in 123 easy steps.”
The president will announce, again, that he is still absolutely committed to tax reform.
The House will pass immigration-reform legislation. The president will announce that he is still absolutely committed to immigration reform and promise to veto the legislation.
The Obama administration will impose more than $100 billion in new regulatory burdens.
The House will pass GSE-reform legislation, but the Senate will not. Fannie and Freddie will remain wards of the state, shackled in Treasury handcuffs.
Over a dozen states will approve minimum-wage ballot initiatives. The plight of the working poor will not improve.
The economy will complete its fifth full year of “recovery” with sluggish, uneven growth. The president will blame Congress and call for more infrastructure spending and higher taxes.
— Douglas Holtz-Eakin is president of the American Action Forum.
After placing microphones near the tomb of Kim Jong Il, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un will have his father disinterred and charged with “quadruple-castigated treason” for not clapping at all during presidential speeches.
Six hours after reports of activity at Israeli and Saudi air bases, Iran will announce that massive explosions at all of its nuclear facilities were actually well-coordinated fireworks displays intended to celebrate the invention of a totally peaceful isotope, Arafatium.
Record ice at both poles will be chalked up to the elimination of the 60-watt incandescent bulb, but additional steps will be needed to prevent catastrophic global warming. The EPA will announce regulations mandating compact fluorescent bulbs for aquariums and car-dome interior lights.
A House subcommittee on overreach in executive orders will be disbanded by executive orders.
Continued use of the phrase “The president tweeted out a selfie” will finally cause the Lincoln Memorial to spontaneously combust.
The takeover of the Greek government by the fascist organization “Golden Dawn” will be announced on NBC News by Brian Williams, who says, “Chalk one up for the Tea Party.”
— James Lileks is a columnist for National Review.
KATHRYN JEAN LOPEZ
Some of these I hope I’m right about, others I pray I’m off about. Others are probably delusional.
Somewhere around the one-year mark in his papacy in March, a high-profile conversion to Catholicism attributed to Pope Francis’s witness will make headlines.
Many will continue to miss the pope’s most powerful messages, as they use him as cover for their agendas. (Yes, President Obama, and much of MSNBC.)
Someone who announces he’s considering running for the White House next time around will totally perplex and drive factions wild.
I surrender and quit asking Jonah for predictions for the new year.
The Supreme Court will protect the religious liberty of the Green family that runs Hobby Lobby. It will be a victory for those persecuted a world away for their insistence on living the Christian faith in the public square.
The religious persecution of Christians around the world and China’s one-child policy will become celebrity causes to oppose.
We will actually question Wendy Davis’s celebrity as a cultural-conscience tsunami.
Chuck Todd will become host of Meet the Press.
Los Angeles Archbishop Jose Gomez will be named a cardinal.
— Kathryn Jean Lopez is editor-at-large of National Review Online and director of Catholic Voices USA. Follow her on Twitter at @KathrynLopez.
Barring an international or economic disaster, Barack Obama’s favorability rating will not drop below 40 percent on a consistent basis.
Republican gains in the Senate will not be enough to take control, and the House breakdown will stay within 10 seats of its current makeup in either direction.
Establishment Republicans will fare better in congressional and senatorial primaries than they have in the last two cycles, but there will be some incumbent upsets that will further fuel the GOP civil war.
By the end of 2014, Mike Huckabee will have emerged as a top-tier 2016 candidate, and his entry into the race will be widely expected.
Cases on the constitutionality of the NSA eavesdropping program and the subsidies flowing to the federal health exchange will be on the Supreme Court’s 2014–15 docket.
Valerie Jarrett and Michelle Obama’s duet rendition of Stand By Your Man brings down the house at the annual White House Correspondents Dinner.
— Henry Olsen is a senior fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center.