The 17 Most American Things You Can Buy At Walmart

by Benny Johnson

This week, my colleague Kevin Williamson wrote about the celebrity hypocrisy of protesting Walmart. The gist: The rich celebs boycotting the store are “too enlightened to let their poor neighbors pay low prices.”

But the real question remains: What are these “poor neighbors” buying at Walmart, anyway? Is it good for them? Is it good for America? National Review conducted an on-the-ground investigation of what products the retail giant is selling. The results were inspiring.

1. This bocce-ball​-sized Lindor Chocolate

2. A beef-jerky gun

3. Si Robertson prescription glasses

4. This pocket watch that says it’s time for Freedom

5. A ‘Darth Vader taking a selfie with an iPhone 4′ t-shirt

6. Bacon and Mac’n Cheese Duck Tape

7. A Bat Hook to hang your Bat Cape on

8. An officially branded Marines “Battle Kit”

9. This dinner cutlery

10. The Key to Freedom

11. This inclusive gingerbread house

12. A 2-lb. barrel of cheese balls

13. All of these items being marketed together:

14. Tim McGraw cologne

15. Ten pounds of pork chitterlings

16. A 20-foot “Space Sleigh”

17. A true capitalist miracle:

Just a reminder: Walmart thinks Chuck Norris with a massive gun is a sure way to bring Christmas joy:

In conclusion: Who could ever boycott Walmart?

— Benny Johnson is digital director of National Review.