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The Clinton 200
Why Clinton should go.


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EDITOR’S NOTE: “The Clinton 200″ appeared in the October 26, 1998, issue of National Review in “The Week” section.

K>en Starr had 11 reasons why President Clinton should go, the Judiciary Committee added another 4, and now-so as to hold up our end-we suggest another 185, for a clean 200 total.

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”I don’t recall” * Reappearing billing records * Federal toilet mandates * “Safe, legal, and rare” * Lip-biting * Joycelyn Elders * Jim Carville * “Mend it, don’t end it” * Dishonest defiance of Supreme Court on preferences * HRC: “There is no such thing as other people’s children” * Taking credit for repealing preferences * Paying nuclear blackmail to North Korea * HRC on health care and small business: “I can’t save every undercapitalized business in America” * Siccing the FBI on Billy Dale * Siccing the IRS on conservatives * Defending partial-birth abortion * Keeping D.C. kids trapped in rotten schools * Suing California for repealing preferences * The DNA speech * Screwing around with the Census * Screwing around with the interns * More rather than less, sooner rather than later * The Fleetwood Mac revival * Filegate * Tax hikes * “It might surprise you to know that I think I raised them [taxes] too much too” * Jaw-jutting * Phony privilege claims * Underhanded privilege claims * Soldiers and Sailors Act * Making lying to one’s diary safe, legal, and common * “The most ethical Administration in history” * Firing all the U.S. attorneys * Draft-dodging * Eliminating Beck enforcement upon taking office * ABM treaty * HRC’s explanation of $ 100,000 profit from Wall Street Journal reading (would that she read the editorial page as closely) * Hoarding children’s vaccines * Clinton’s explanation for the Lincoln bedroom: “Both of us had lost a parent and we just hadn’t kept in touch with people like we should have” * Making us long for Jimmy Carter * Making us long for George Bush * Making us long for Warren Harding * Scripting aides’ reaction to his confession speech * Exploiting church burnings * Attacking conservatives for Oklahoma City * Sidney Blumenthal * Joe Conason (sorry, same thing) * Boxers or briefs * Apologizing to whole continents * The tobacco jihad * The tobacco abuse * Ira Magaziner * Peanut-free zones on airplanes * Trying to take over health care * Violence Against Women Act * “Unspeakably vulgar pleasure” he takes in the office (Mark Helprin) * A Cabinet that looks like America * A Cabinet that looks like the bar scene in Star Wars (Don Imus) * Letting China dictate his travel schedule * Letting China fund his campaign * The small-breast defense * Telling Monica his phones are tapped by foreign governments and then proceeding * Jogging shorts * Pasty white thighs in jogging shorts * Scorched-earth policy * Cheating at golf * Mediscare * Screwing up traffic every time he visits NYC * John Travolta as foreign-policy advisor * John Travolta as President * Trailer-park trash * Making state troopers pimps * Making Betty Currie a pimp * Half-hearted salutes * The 60 Minutes interview * Kyoto treaty * Refusing to lift arms embargo on Bosnia * Sending troops instead * While receiving oral sex * Threatening Secret Service agents during Eleanor Mondale incident * Calling George Bush dishonest * The Hamptons * George Stephanopoulos * Haircut on the LAX runway * Renaissance Weekends * “For the children” * Hush money for Hubbell * Loathing the military * Giving Geraldo Rivera an exclusive interview in China * Using anti-mob laws against peaceful abortion protestors * “If everybody in the country had the character that my wife has, we’d be a better place to live” * Registering illegal immigrants as voters * Tax deductions for depreciated underwear * How they got depreciated * Sara Lister * Gutting the military * Timber “summits” * Strobe Talbott * Footnote 210 * Barbra Streisand * “Kiss it” * “Not appropriate” * “Misleading” * “It depends on how you define alone” * “That depends what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is” * Town meetings * Mike McCurry explaining Catholic theology to Cardinal O’Connor * McCurry * All-nighters * Toe-sucking advisors * Waco * Dancing on the beach with Hillary * Jane Doe #5 * Seances with Eleanor Roosevelt * Wanting to talk to Eleanor Roosevelt * Years of “I feel your pain” jokes * It Takes a Village * 24 hours a day of Greta Van Susteren * Walt Whitman revival * Suggesting a vote against David Dinkins would be racist * Coddling Saddam Hussein * Smearing Scott Ritter * Being a Rhodes scholar * The dress * “Legally accurate” * Smearing Paul McHale * Taking credit for balanced budget * Taking credit for economy * Wishing he had a challenge like WWII * Complaining about own leaks * Gore telling soldiers’ families their sons died “in the service of the United Nations” * Making every other sentence a double entendre * Monica loves him * Did we mention Fleetwood Mac? * “I haven’t been to a McDonald’s since I’ve been President.” * Al Gore * Susan Carpenter-McMillan * Friends of Bill * Paying people to volunteer * Multiple Ron Brown funerals * Easter Sunday 1996 * The politics of meaning * Astroturf * Telling MTV that this time he’d inhale * Having own VH1 special * Lani Guinier * Supposedly breaking the news to HRC re Monica: “You’re not going to believe this but . . .” * “Every day can’t be sunshine” * “Four years and $ 40 million” * Lanny Davis * Not drinking beer * Ostentatiously carrying Bible * Bringing Chelsea cross-country for photo ops * Asking Kathleen Willey to bring him chicken soup * Standing ovations at the UN * “Vast right-wing conspiracy” * Picking spiritual advisor with CNN contract * Mexican bailout * Government shutdowns * Banning ugly guns * Roger Clinton * Wanting to be President when he was 10 * “In the present tense, that is an accurate statement” * Naming dog “Buddy” * Claiming ignorance about Rwanda genocide * Salon * That picture of him shaking hands with JFK * Hugging everyone * Hillary * Having a First Cat * Psychobabble * Pizza delivery * The oh-so-morally-serious Paul Begala * He believes Anita Hill * He’s even made ministering a double entendre * “Don’t ask, don’t tell” * Smoked pot, lied about it, and supports the drug laws * Making French intellectuals relevant * Permanent “interim appointments” * “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinsky.” * There are no tanks in Mogadishu * Getting back to the business of the people * He thinks he’s black * “It’s the right thing to do”



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