Imagine Paradise
More fairness and tolerance, and less . . . you.


And so to Tolerance. For 40 years we have been provoking you, goading you, mocking you, denigrating you, demeaning your faith in God and country and yourselves. We turned the all-American dad into a doofus figure of fun. We’ve gotten you to loathe stay-at-home moms, celebrate pregnant teenagers, cheer for their abortions, and sue the doctors when they botch them. We’ve convinced you that kids are smarter than their parents, that the poor are more virtuous than the rich, and that all cultures are equal. We demanded that you tolerate it — and you did! Chesterton, or some other religious nut, may have said that tolerance is the only virtue left to the man who no longer believes in anything, but so what? Tolerance is the only virtue you’re going to need while we destroy your culture, and when we’re finished, well, you won’t need it any more. Herbert Marcuse was right in Repressive Tolerance: The only thing we can’t tolerate is you.

So whether you believe in it or not, that’s the change you’re about to get, the change that was planned all along. Which is why the time is ripe for a remake of the Pasternak–David Lean movie. Imagine a society in which everything really is equal. In which everyone shares the same moldy crust of bread and rat’s-tail soup in collective harmony. In which everyone’s thermostat is set at 60 degrees. In other words, imagine paradise.

You know what I’m going to call my new script, don’t you? Of course you do: Doctor Zhivago II: This Time, It’s Personal.

– David Kahane is relearning the words to the old Soviet national anthem and recommends that you do the same. You can sing along with him at [email protected].


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