Now, did Aaron Spelling steal his money? Did he bamboozle or fleece somebody? Did he fix somebody’s parking tickets or date a former Fannie Mae executive? He did not. Spelling’s money came out of his head: he thought up TV shows people wanted to watch. And then, through the miracle of what we do here in Hollywood, a vast industry sprang up around him. Spelling gave work to writers, actors, directors, stagehands, limo drivers, chefs, caterers, dry cleaners, and delivery boys — not to mention masons and carpenters and craftsmen. He paid oodles of taxes, and bought his wife a fortune in jewelry. Heck, he even made his daughter — Tori — a TV star. There’s a mensch for you.
Now you too can aspire to owning the most expensive home in American history. Yes, Candy is selling and moving to smaller digs in a 17,000 square foot Century City condo, for which she shelled out a measly $47 million. I myself was thinking of making an offer, once I off-load my underwater home up here in Echo Park — but all of a sudden, I have a better idea.
We should all take up a collection and buy it for Barney Frank. Think of the fun Barney could have, romping around the 123 rooms, going for a midnight dip in the pool, touring the doll museum. It would be the perfect way for him to get a sense of how the other half lives, to feel the uninhibited joy of “excessive compensation,” and even develop some sympathy for the notion of “compensation not based on performance standards” — has he seen a Josh Hartnett movie lately? He’d be the happiest guy on earth.
And then maybe he’d leave the rest of us alone.
– David Kahane used to aspire to be rich and famous, but after what happened to AIG’s Edward Liddy and Rick Wagoner of General Motors he’s keeping his head down and rediscovering the simple joys of living in his car on Magnolia Blvd. in Valley Village. Please pass along tips about free parking spaces and best dumpster diving at [email protected].