What might happen in the upcoming year? We asked a few of National Review Online’s sages to prophesy the events of 2010.
Looking over last year’s predictions, I seem to have batted not quite .500, which actually isn’t bad as these things go, but chastening none the less. Thus chastened, I’m a little less fertile of predictions this year, but here are a handful.
Science: A more or less Earth-like planet will be observed in a more or less Earth-like orbit around a more or less Sun-like star.
North Korea: Kim Jong Il will be deposed by his military. (Yes, it’s true, I cut’n’pasted that from last year’s predictions. It’s bound to happen one year soon, though, unless the little toad dies first.)
: Will urge a world-wide eugenics program. Immigration
. Barack Obama’s illegal-immigrant aunt, Zeituni Onyango, will not be deported. (Copied that one from last year, too.) The economy
: . . . will bump along the bottom, probably with a couple of small lurches downwards. Politics
: The GOP will make good, though not great, gains in the midterms. They will immediately embark on a strategy guaranteed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Go Stupid Party! The Presidency
: Michelle Obama will slip by her minders and say something outrageous. The MSM will not report it. Persons who refer to it will be denounced as racists. Publishing
: We Are Doomed: Reclaiming Conservative Pessimism will, after three months as a “sleeper,” shoot to the top of the bestseller charts. There it will meet Sarah Palin’s cheery memoir. The two books will thereupon mutually annihilate in a burst of gamma rays.
Anniversaries: Virginia Woolf’s remark that “on or about December 1910 human character changed” will be widely quoted.
– John Derbyshire is an National Review Online columnist and author, most recently, of We Are Doomed: Reclaiming Conservative Pessimism.
Gay rights and immigration will stay off the president’s agenda as the White House tries to claw back to the center in anticipation of the 2010 elections.
Rubio beats Crist in what has become a major nationalized election. The Frank Rich crowd will insist that this time it’s really, really, for honest, true that Rubio’s win spells the doom of the GOP as a mainstream party.
Chris Dodd loses his election. Capital police need to use a crowbar to loosen his grip on his office desk.
Harry Reid loses re-election bid, calls results an “evil lie, bought and paid for by the insurance companies.”
Ruth Bader Ginsburg will retire for health reasons. This will create enormous problems for Obama, as the base will demand someone even more liberal than Sotomayor, while the times will require someone more moderate. Obama will go with his gut and name a very, very, liberal nominee.
The GOP will not take back the House. But it will be very, very close.
After a seemingly smooth start, troubles with Gitmo North will mount. The terror trial in New York will be a farce from the word go.
National Review Online will have more blogs than people working for it.
A new reality show about the makers of a reality show will cause the cultural commentariat to implode in on itself.
Keith Olbermann takes himself so seriously, he cuts off his left hand to emphasize his seriousness about the public option. (He waves bloody stump at paramedic, yelling “don’t touch the hair!”).
There will be no meaningful, binding global treaty on climate change in 2010.
Iran will get the bomb even as the democracy movement gains steam.
The Goldberg File — now in newsletter format — will be so successful the suits will keep me on for another year.
– Jonah Goldberg is editor-at-large of National Review Online and the author of Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left from Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning.