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Laura Zingraham
She was Tea Party before it was cool.

An NRO Interview

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Can’t read one more piece on the debt ceiling? Laura Ingraham, with Raymond Arroyo, has written the ultimate palate cleanser — with a purpose: Of Thee I Zing: America’s Cultural Decline from Muffin Tops to Body Shots, released today. There are zings about fads and bad habits, about popular culture and pulpit nonsense, about the profound and the mundane — all of them served up with a light-hearted, comic, or humble twist.

“This comedic intervention is my way of saying you have the power to turn it around for yourselves and for your children,” Ingraham tells National Review Online. She took some questions on Zing from NRO’s Kathryn Jean Lopez.

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KATHRYN JEAN LOPEZ: Is there one bad habit or bit of nonsense highlighted in the book that drives you crazy above all others?

LAURA INGRAHAM: Parents’ failure to parent. Remember, you’re not Jr.’s friend. You’re not Bethany’s BFF. You are a mother or a father — act like one. Forget “snakes on a plane” — have you seen children running wild on commercial flights? Admit it, sometimes the chaos and noise is so out of control, you wish that “water landing” were not so “unlikely.” Or how about mothers who beam about the fact that they “can wear my daughter’s jeans!” Sweetie, you’re middle-aged, and your midriff looks like day-old Activia yogurt. Your daughter doesn’t need competition, she needs a mother. We have an obligation to guide the next generation toward what is acceptable — what is best for them. She shouldn’t be emulating Lindsay Lohan. And you shouldn’t be emulating Dina.

LOPEZ: Is there one Zing much more important than others? 

INGRAHAM: How difficult! Let me count the Zings! Our cultural decay has even followed us into church — one place where we thought we were safe. When did weekly church service become a time to model the latest gym-wear and perform full-body massages on our pew-mates? Have you seen the fellow parishioners who begin caressing one another on the upper scapular region and by the time the homily is over have made it all the way to the tail bone area? Excuse me, but this is supposed to be worship, not a conjugal visit. And a special thanks to the woman I saw coming out of confession a few months back wearing spandex leggings and jog bra masquerading as a tank top — you gave me one more uncharitable thought to confess. God bless you and your entire Hot Yoga studio.

LOPEZ: Do television Democratic and Republican “strategists” alike unjustly make employed commentators look bad?

INGRAHAM: We can make ourselves look bad all on our own. But as long as you’re asking — can we have a question put to these people at the top of each interview? — “Before we get started, Mr. Blowhard, for whom have you strategized lately, and what is your strategizing specialty?” And no, your weekly strategy to find the fastest check-out line at Whole Foods doesn’t count.

LOPEZ: How is Zing in keeping with your previous book Power to the People — which captured the tea-party mood early?

INGRAHAM: Power to the People was a wake-up call for all Americans who thought they couldn’t make a difference in politics. We had the power to make the establishment and the elites listen to us all along, as the tea-party movement demonstrates. We also have the power to transform this culture, make it better every day. Each of us has enormous influence within our own families, circle of friends, and workplaces to model good behavior and habits. We agonize over the issues that we cannot have an immediate impact on — the debt ceiling or terror attacks — and meanwhile the things we actually have the power to change right now, we ignore. As for pop culture: It’s officially popped. The No. 1 selling album on iTunes is from a group called LMFAO. Rihanna’s “S&M” was one of the biggest smashes of the year (how empowering). And Ke$ha is now on her “Get Sleazy” tour. Yesterday she claimed that underneath her lyrics about “drinking and partying like a wild woman,” her music is “really positive.” She wants to “encourage kids to be themselves,” she claims. Sure, if your life’s goal is to flaunt your a$$ets, dabble in drugs, and expect to be paid a lot of money, she’s just the role model for you. Grrrrrl power? Or hurl power?

LOPEZ: You must be the most observant person. . . . I e-mailed you from Amtrak just after reading your new book because it was my first experience realizing what was right in front of me! Thank you, Of Thee I Zing! Where do you get that from?

INGRAHAM: My late mother was hyper-observant, so I probably inherited this curse from her. She taught me how to zing. “Will you look at that one!” was a familiar refrain as she scanned the attire of fellow shoppers at the mall. The reason this book is resonating with so many people of all ages and backgrounds is because these are issues, habits, and trends that we are confronted with every day. Most people witness them with complacency. I don’t. “Live and let live” is nice on a bumper sticker, but hard to practice when you are bombarded by one visual assault after another.

LOPEZ: Was Of Thee I Zing fun to write? Collaborating with our friend Raymond Arroyo must always be . . . 

INGRAHAM: We laughed and laughed. Some of the most searing observations I wrote from the elliptical trainer on my Blackberry, while the culture crimes were being committed around me. (Mr. Ear Picker on the recumbent bike, you know who you are.) Then Raymond and I would argue over what represents the worst culture crimes out there. The debates became vicious at times. We took many of the photos in the book ourselves — I once chased a man wearing super skinny jeans down the sidewalk in Scottsdale. I hid behind a lamppost to get the perfect silhouette shot! Raymond even picked up a leaf blower and demonstrated the “un-neighborly” lawn maintenance habit of blowing sticks and grass over into his neighbor’s property! We’ve become so accustomed to things looking, feeling — and yes, smelling — so bad, that at times we feel helpless to change it. This comedic intervention is my way of saying you have the power to turn it around for yourselves and for your children.

LOPEZ: Whose idea was his expression on the cover?

INGRAHAM: This is always his natural reaction when I’m charting the course. That was also the moment the Coast Guard pulled up bearing breathalyzers.

LOPEZ: So do you think of yourself as George Washington crossing the Delaware?

INGRAHAM: That period costume weighed at least 20 pounds! I couldn’t cross my living room in that, let alone the Delaware.

LOPEZ: Your outlook as a relatively new mother infuses your book — as it often does your radio and TV hosting. Why did you adopt? You’re like the last person who would be influenced by celebrity trends so I know that wasn’t the reason.

INGRAHAM: Actually, this is as good a place to share this as any, so here goes — for several years now, Brad Pitt, Madonna, and I have shared custody of one of the recent American Idol finalists. (Better luck next year, baby!)

Seriously, motherhood has been a complete blessing and naturally changed my outlook and focus. I now realize how important our cultural health is to the well-being of society and the immediate effects it has on the young. Simply stated: It’s all about the kids. Mine and yours. What world are we leaving them?

LOPEZ: While zinging the bad habits of others, you tend to be honest about your own struggles. You’re not necessarily in the business of dishing out nonpolitical advice. But as an outspoken single woman who has an unconventional situation, do you have advice for young single women living in these confusing times (for women and men)?

INGRAHAM: Taking dating advice from me is like asking Obama for family-budgeting tips. And if you go on match.com, beware the potential match who posts photos from a previous decade!

LOPEZ: Zinging can be fun and all but ultimately what is this all about? Is it about excellence?

INGRAHAM: Zinging means fearlessly calling out the cultural failings all around us and aspiring to something better. And if after reading this book you still haven’t found your inner Zing, then at least you will have a few laughs along the way.

— Kathryn Jean Lopez is editor-at-large of National Review Online. 

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COMMENTS   24

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History Buff
   07/12/11 09:00

I can't imagine why Keith Olbermann broke up with her?

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LeishaC43
   07/12/11 10:19

I can't believe she would ever go out with such a troglodyte.

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   07/12/11 10:40

Why is Arroyo looking at her butt with a shocked face on the cover?

Makes you want to go hummmm....

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Alexandra
   07/12/11 11:18

Laura is snarky. She is not funny.

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   07/12/11 11:42

Laura is nasty. Period. And I don't think that single women should be allowed to adopt three children. What does Laura think of that? I think preference should be given to married couples.

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   07/12/11 13:47

Given that singe motherhood is one of the most destructive trends in American society, and given that the lifestyles of wealthy famous people like Ingraham protect them from many of the struggles that typical single mothers face, I think she's setting a very poor example.

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Paul Hughes
   07/12/11 15:19

Some of her points are well-taken but she's often part of the problem.

The point is single-motherhood isn't even OK when you're conservative. The point is less judging and more, as is said here, excellence.

Not "Shut up and Zing" but: the first part, and then do something. Shut up and deal?

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   07/12/11 17:20

This Q&A helps to explain a lot.
In my day, 'hyper-observant' people like Laura's mother scanning the attire of fellow shoppers at the mall and exclaiming 'Will you look at that one!' would be termed to be 'catty' or worse. Mindlessly verbalizing one's every thought - regardless of quality - is not necessarily the best trait to hand down to your children.

I've always found a little bit of Laura to go a long way. Her entire shtick has become tired. And now tabloid 'cultural commentary' largely written on a Blackberry from an elliptical trainer... wonderful.

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Rocco
   07/12/11 17:32

There's a very good reason this woman is still single. She is evil. Check out that video on youtube of her famous "don't come in my ear" eruption on her short lived Fox show "This Just In." She is a nasty piece of work, I wouldn't read her book if someone gave it to me..

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   07/12/11 17:46

Why has this woman been allowed to adopt three children? Does Laura actually believe that it is better for three kids to grow up without a father? I raised one child without a lot of help from his father (we divorced) and I know that our child suffered. That is an unfortunate fact.

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   07/12/11 19:00

Actually, I think she's only adopted two (a girl from Guatemala and a boy from Russia) - but your point taken.

She's likely still 'efforting' the father thing but I suspect I'm not alone in finding a little bit of Laura to go a long way.

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Joan Davis
   07/12/11 18:02

So why does K-Lo find Laura raising children on her own something to be praised, but two loving mothers raising children together something to be condemned? In both cases, the children are being raised without a father, but at least the lesbian couple has an extra pair of hands!

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R.J. MacLean
   07/12/11 18:38

Her comment regarding the Churches contributing to the problem is well taken. I was astonished to read that one of the critics of the News of the World tabloid this past week was the Church of England. Their criticsm carried some weight, I guess, because they are a significant shareholder...to the extent of over 6,000,000 pounds. Now something that has been missing in the news about the fall of the NOTW is that it was a completely scuzzy publication. I had seen it on a newsstand some years ago and was embarassed to be seen looking at it. I checked the website this week to see what it was all about and found it impossible to line-up the word "journalists"with what they put out. The paper was sheer filth, and it was impossible to comprehend why the Church of England would ever associate itself with such a yellow journal.

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HistoryBuff
   07/12/11 22:04

In fairness to Laura, she wanted children, and since no man wanted to marry her, they end up "fatherless".

But she's rich, so it's "okay" with Social Cons at NR.

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   07/13/11 14:42

It is not ok with me to purchase children from abroad! Certainly not by a single woman. Married couples should be at the head of the line, not single women. And I believe she has three children now, not two. So much for "fathers being important" - not!

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   07/13/11 15:12

AliceL:

Foreign adoption is not "purchasing children from abroad." There are millions of orphans around the world -- they need parents, and there aren't any willing & able to do it where they live. Why does a national border create a boundary between an orphan and a parent? I guess kids from other countries can just starve, suffer without medical care, and rot, for all you care?

Domestic adoption has many problems that make it difficult or impossible for US families.

1. Many of the kids available in the US have severe behavioral problems that would put huge risks on the kids already in a home.

2. State-level regulations that, for example, require parents to be certified as foster parents before adopting domestically create barriers to domestic adoption that some families can't overcome, so foreign adoption is the option.

3. Every singly family we know who adopted domestically faced the risk of having the child returned to the birth mother -- which would be a devastating blow to both parents and the kids already in the home. ("Can they take me away too?") Foreign adoptions don't have these risks.

Of course, none of these arguments matter to people like you, who apparently can't love kids "purchased from abroad." Comments like that disgust me. Try looking at any "waiting child" photolisting -- if your heart doesn't break...well, I won't be surprised if yours doesn't.

Are there fees for international adoption? sure - they pay for legal work, and for the care of the orphans who aren't lucky enough to get homes. But, hey, it's just purchasing kids from abroad. Who cares if they eat? They're in another country! They look different! They don't matter a bit.

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   07/13/11 17:40

You have me wrong: there are lots of poor kids in the USA - particularly older kids in the minority community - who need homes and well as special needs children. Private adopts abroad are usually done by wealthy people. Since Ms. Ingraham claims to be pro family, she should push for husbands and wives to do adoptions over single women. For the record, I have a friend who was adopted (and he is American) at the ripe age of 15 and he says that the people who adopted him saved his life. We need more people to do this. You have lot of nerve pretending to know what is in my heart! We have many kids in the USA who need to be adopted if we are to lower our horrendous abortion rate - or do you not care about that?

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   07/13/11 17:50

I don't think adoption will lower the abortion rate. (About which I do care, deeply.) Abortions are done for lots of reasons; the option to have their kids adopted by other families exists and still millions of women choose to have abortions. Healthy infants (which most aborted babies would be) do not lack for adoptive couples. In fact, another reason we didn't adopt domestically is because we didn't want to enter the "meat market" of birth mothers choosing their kids' adoptive families via carefully crafted dossiers. We let others do that, and went abroad, where there are more kids than families.

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   07/14/11 09:01

I did not mean to come across as brusque - but my basic point is that there are American kids who desperately need to be placed with two parents. And yes, some of them are older and they have problems and they slip through the cracks in the system. I was responding to an interview by K. Lopez with Laura Ingraham, a woman who normally would not be wild about single mothers. I wonder if Ms. Ingraham is concerned about the effects of a lack of father in her own home. I also believe that, there are young American women who should not keep their babies and should be urged to place them for adoption. They are simply too immature to take care of babies. Abortion is not the answer - adoption is. Remember that, the woman who has had one abortion may also have one or two other children born out of wedlock. Those of us who are pro life must really push adoption as an option.

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   07/13/11 17:46

What's the matter: can't handle a child with "severe behavioral problems"? Did you not hear of the single American woman who, a couple of years ago, sent her Russian adopted kid back to Russia because she "could not handle him"? I wonder what happened to that kid? This woman wanted to play mommy but could not handle the heat and did not even think of taking this child to a therapist. Apparently her mother went online to find an adult to "accompany" the child back to Russia -and for a while, Russia banned American adoptions because of this incident. And then there is the woman who ended up murdering her adopted Russian daughter because she "could not handle her". I could go on, but I think you get the drift.

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