I understand why so many churchgoers are in need of grace, because an awful lot of them display so very little.
Why, knowing that you are about to shake hands with fellow congregants, either at the start of a service or during the sign of peace, would you pick your nose? Do these rude people (who I think have season tickets to the pew in front of mine) imagine that we don’t see them sneaking a dig? Confession: I have actually gotten up and taken my children to the back of the church before the sign of peace to avoid shaking hands with the parish pickers.
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My friend Ina told me she has seen people at her church’s “summer services” surfing the Internet on their iPhones. They put the phones on mute and scroll through their texts and e-mail in the middle of Sunday observances. Just because it’s summer doesn’t mean you can “vacation” from decorum in the church!
The summer weather seems to bring out the worst in some churchgoers, and it’s not just what they are doing, but what they are wearing. As the temperature rises, beachwear becomes the norm in some congregations. Shorts, sarong-like wraps, swim trunks, and flip-flops (which some wear year-round) are routine. Unless your church is on a sand dune, these fashions are not only unwelcome but scary to many fellow parishioners. It reminds me of the woman I once saw exit a confessional in full body-hugging spandex. I don’t know if there was a spin class in there or what — but this was one spiritually dissonant image I could have lived without.
The only thing possibly more obnoxious than the outrageous church fashions is the couples who are forever caressing each other in the pews. I suppose they do it initially to acknowledge a point of mutual interest being made from the pulpit. But there are other cases of roving fingers that I can’t explain at all. One man I saw rubbed his wife’s back for an entire sermon. I’ve also seen people stroke their partner’s arms, legs, necks, even buttocks during services. Excuse me, but this is supposed to be worship, not a conjugal visit! The only conception I’m even remotely interested in thinking about during church is of the immaculate variety.
Laura - totally agree on the lack of decorum in the church.
I expect that many well-meaning Christians will post today objecting that Christ will accept you as you are and we should not be concerned with what other people think. On one level that is true, however the same people would likely be very concerned with their dress going to a business meeting, a wedding or a funeral. People seem to have an innate sense that "casual" is not appropriate in those situations.
We've read that Ronald Reagan always wore a suit in the oval office, not to impress anybody, but out of respect for the office. What's so hard to understand about dressing nice and maintaining good deportment out of respect for our Creator and His Son as well as our neighbors who have come to worship?
There's something bigger than decorum missing from many churches. It's men. Real men whose understanding of manhood is rooted in faith and duty. Men who lead their families to church and who raise their children to love God and obey His commandments.
Heaven forbid we even go near the topic of approaching God with "fear and trembling". I can hear the atheists rattling their tin swords already...
Well said, Loyal Jets Fan! And this coming from a Loyal Chargers Fan. ;)
To those who are apparently disgusted by these articles by Ms. Ingraham, perhaps you should avoid reading them if they bother you so much. She makes valid points about decorum and the lack thereof in this society these days.
You make a good point, but (you knew there was a but coming, didn't you?) they didn't used to be like this. But if there are many more like the Harry Potter and the Church article, I'll start putting them to a miss.
"The only thing possibly more obnoxious than the outrageous church fashions is the couples who are forever caressing each other in the pews."
This is THE issue in church during the sermon. I've seen everything Laura speaks of and more, but this is so ubiquitous it's as if it's required. Kissy kissy, rub rub, lean your head onto his shoulder, then start over, all the while we're sitting behind them trying to pay attention God's word? Please.
I've got to give a big YES to loyaljetfan above regarding the lack of men in church. Men wouldn't caress their women and they wouldn't let women caress them. Instead, what we have are what the culture has produced, and that's not men as God designed.
This isn't meant to hammer on anyone, because "God be merciful to me a sinner" should be my daily cry. But true is true, and as believers we have to call each other out to believe in the word and behave appropriately.
A couple years ago, I spent many services rubbing my wife's shoulders. Why? For about a year after her mastectomy and chemo, she was unable to be comfortable in most physical positions due to shoulder tension, but she could get through a church service if I kept rubbing her shoulders. (This went away after that recovery year.)
Maybe Protestant churches are different, but I have NEVER seen anyone pick their nose in church.
I'll see those nose-pickers and raise you a choir lady who doesn't wash her hands after using the bathroom. My wife has seen the same prim, elderly alto more than once leave the stall in the ladies' room without stopping to wash. Needless to say we NEVER sit next to her during the "extend the hand of fellowship" time.
I've seen the "petters" as well at Mass. Usually it's the guy touching the woman the entire time and it is way creepy.
We also have one family that has a succession of babies and toddlers that get passed around constantly to the bigger members of the family. It was so distracting that when they sat in front of me, I got up and moved.
Bill Buckley called the new (at the time) Catholic English Mass "Clap hands, here comes God!" My Episcopal church responded by ditching the Book of Common Prayer for the same sort of blather.
I don't care for "the sign of peace" at all.
I have saved myself the horrors described by Laura here by avoiding church altogether.
When I was a tenager the shaking of the hands (or kiss on the cheek with girls) was very important. And so was the strategic decision on where to sit so you can give a kiss to a pretty girl. Happy that their mother wasn't Laura.
Now where all of the sudden this irrelevant postings from LI. Is she having trouble selling her book?
"I expect that many well-meaning Christians will post today objecting that Christ will accept you as you are and we should not be concerned with what other people think. On one level that is true, however the same people would likely be very concerned with their dress going to a business meeting, a wedding or a funeral. People seem to have an innate sense that "casual" is not appropriate in those situations."
True. However it may also be the idea that the Almighty will see through whatever I'm wearing to the real person beneath. And that it is more important that I show up and listen to the sermon, as opposed to impressing my fellow parishioners with my Armani suit.
When I was younger, i lived my Church life regularly, but insufficiently. It took years for me to understand that Mass is not a mandatory group event for socially structured reasons that we must attend. That is as shallow of me as to believe if i don't con the family, i'll be cut out of the estate will. Pray for spiritual advancement of our thread-dead young people. Threads are intended to be preserved for core material. I also understand that the sign of Peace at Mass has been requested to be very brief. The USCCB apparently agrees with your percepton. Sorry to say, if someone is picking their nose i will still greet them and in doing so effectually pray for peace with their issues. I have aged to not judge books by their covers, or boors by their buggars. love mb.
I am slightly curious as to why, after opening up the topic of religion, NRO seems to be filterting out (polite)comments on the topic that are directly related to the content of the column. Is it that comments of a certain perscpective are seen as prosletizing? Or maybe it's inaproppraite talk about such things on a political forum.... But, ohh, yeah... the article itself has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with religion.
Perhaps certain comments are unacceptable because they do not match particular paradimes? Maybe SOMEONE out there will be able to explain it to me......
L, your only chance is 6 o'clock mass. Getting up at 04:45 separates the wheat from the chaff. You see the best, most pious, respectful people in your community. Every church in the world, whether it's in Minsk or Kaohsiung, the same wonderful 40 people are sitting there at 05:55. And there is no bad music and no handshaking. Your error is in attending the punters mass.
"Do these rude people (who I think have season tickets to the pew in front of mine) imagine that we don’t see them sneaking a dig?"
They were probably just balling them up between their fingers to make "holy rollers."
"I have actually gotten up and taken my children to the back of the church before the sign of peace to avoid shaking hands with the parish pickers."
Well then, just follow your own advice on proper attire and wear gloves (you know, what ladies do). That would solve the "dashing off" problem.
"It reminds me of the woman I once saw exit a confessional in full body-hugging spandex."
Maybe she was being absolved of Priest seduction.
"I’ve also seen people stroke their partner’s arms, legs, necks, even bu**ocks during services."
As long as it was performed slowly and deliberately, they were probably following the Biblical advice "Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands." That gives them the benefit of the doubt, just in case.
Wow!! Assuming that your faith is Christian, your inability to understand and practice the basic tenets of our shared faith is not nearly as surprising to me as your willingness to put your arrogance and intolerance into the public sphere for all to see. Let them come to church in rags or even naked. They are welcome. Let them come far more filthy than you describe. We will not only shake their hands we will embrace them and rejoice in the glory of god for their presence. They sin their way, I sin my way, and you ma'am... you sin your way.
A lot of times when I rub my wife's arm, leg, back in service it's because we just had a fight before the service and we're making up...actually amongst my friends this seems to be fairly common as church is usually the only event we attend on a regular basis that has a built in time crunch...getting a wife and three girls out the door my 8:45 am rattles my nerves and so I'm usually rubbing my wife's back as a way of saying...it's all good babe. It's not so much a conjugal visit so much as make up petting... :)
Laura:
You may want to reserve judgment on all the folks paying more attention to their digital devices than the sermon. Some of us are reading devotionals and/or Scripture during the latest extra-Biblical rant from the pulpit.
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