Rick Perry, governor of Texas, has only been in the presidential race for 20 minutes, but he’s already delivered one of the best lines in the campaign:
“I’ll work every day to try to make Washington, D.C., as inconsequential in your life as I can.”
This will be grand news to Schylar Capo, eleven years old, of Virginia, who made the mistake of rescuing a woodpecker from the jaws of a cat and nursing him back to health for a couple of days, and for her pains, was visited by a federal Fish & Wildlife gauleiter (with accompanying state troopers) who charged her with illegal transportation of a protected species and issued her a $535 fine. If the federal child-abuser has that much time on his hands, he should have charged the cat, who was illegally transporting the protected species from his gullet to his intestine.
Advertisement
So eleven-year-old Schylar and other middle-schoolers targeted by the micro-regulatory superstate might well appreciate Governor Perry’s pledge. But you never know, it might just catch on with the broader population, too.
Bill Clinton thought otherwise. “I got tickled by watching Governor Perry,” said the former president. “And he’s saying, ‘Oh, I’m going to Washington to make sure that the federal government stays as far away from you as possible — while I ride on Air Force One and that Marine One helicopter and go to Camp David and travel around the world and have a good time.’ I mean, this is crazy.”
This is the best argument the supposedly smartest operator in the Democratic party can muster? If Bill Clinton wants to make the increasingly and revoltingly unrepublican lifestyle of the American president a campaign issue, Governor Perry should call his bluff. If I understand correctly the justification advanced by spokesgropers for the Transport Security Administration, the reason they poke around the genitalia of three-year-old girls and make wheelchair-bound nonagenarians in the final stages of multiple sclerosis remove their diapers in public is that by doing so they have made commercial air travel the most secure environment in the United States. In that case, why can’t the president fly commercial?
You’d be surprised how many heads of state do. Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands flies long haul on KLM. Don’t worry, she’s not in coach all night squeezed next to the mom with the crying baby and the party of English soccer hooligans baying moronic victory chants all night. She rides up front and has so many aides that sometimes she’ll book the entire first class cabin! By contrast, the president of the United States took his personal 747 (a transatlantic aircraft designed to hold 500 people that costs a fifth of a million dollars per hour to run) to go from Washington to a Democratic party retreat in Williamsburg, Va., 150 miles away.
Queen Margrethe of Denmark flies commercial, too. For local trips she has a small Challenger jet. When she’s not zipping around in it, they use it for fishery enforcement off Greenland. Does that detail alone suggest that a thousand-year dynasty dating back to King Gorm the Sleepy (regnant 936–958) travels in rather less luxury than the supposed citizen-executive of a so-called republic of limited government? Undoubtedly King Gorm the Sleepy would have slept a lot better on Air Force One, yet the Danish royal family seems to get by.
Symbols are important. In other circumstances, the Obamas’ vacation on Martha’s Vineyard might not be terribly relevant. But this is a president who blames his dead-parrot economy on “bad luck” — specifically, the Arab Spring and the Japanese tsunami: As Harry S. Truman would have said, the buck stops at that big hole in the ground that’s just opened up over in Japan. Let us take these whiny excuses at face value and accept for the sake of argument that Obama’s Recovery Summer would now be going gangbusters had not the Libyan rebels seized Benghazi and sent the economy into a tailspin. Did no one in the smartest administration in history think this might be the time for the president to share in some of the “bad luck” and forgo an ostentatious vacation in the exclusive playground of the rich? When you’re the presiding genius of the Brokest Nation in History, enjoying the lifestyle of the super-rich while allegedly in “public service” sends a strikingly Latin American message. Underlining the point, the president then decided to pass among his suffering people by touring small town Minnesota in an armored Canadian bus accompanied by a 40-car motorcade. In some of these one-stoplight burgs, the president’s escort had more vehicles than the municipality he was graciously blessing with his presence.
Why does he need a 40-car motorcade? I truly do not understand. Security...I get, but overkill I don't. Everything about this man tends to get my goat, that's why I turn the sound down or change channels every time he's on the tube.
Not royal, but a CEO of a failing corporation who will spend every cent of his lavish perqs guaranteed by his contract before the accountants are called in to put a gloss on the impending bankruptcy.
Brilliant. The United States of America was built in defiance of a Monarchy based on tyrannical rule by an elite class. Our citizen leader's actions should symbolize that they serve the people of this country, not suggest that they rule over them, and need to be protected from them.
You just don't get it Mr. Steyn! The Canadian equivalent of an MRAP is needed to protect HRH from the mobs of bitter clingers, armed with cop-killer bullets, waving their King James editions and carrying torches. Hmm - that would take more than 2 arms - maybe aliens from that NASA report are the REAL enemies...
Thanks once again for the enjoyable read, Mr. Steyn! I promise I'm buying the book this weekend.
Ole' Bad Luck Barry is starting to sound like the Hee Haw skit (youtube it).
Gloom, despair and agony on me-e!
Deep dark depression, excessive misery-y!
If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all!
Gloom, despair and agony on me-e-e!
Chad, Thank you so much for making me laugh!! I remember those skits like it was yesterday!! Unfortunately for the US, gloom, despair and agony really are the only changes BHO has given us!!
Great article,though you misidentified the Fish and Wildlife Gestapo who fined the family of the little girl. It was a female Fish and Wildlife officer, not a male.
If King Canute wants to really be a man "of the people", he'll follow Clinton and LBJ's mule tracks with a tour of Appalachia trumpeting its "poverty" and how it has been "left behind". Nothing raises my hackles more than an American elitist going on a safari in his own country.
And if things look really grim next year, look for the biggest September surprise ever: Michelle's expecting!
Reagan ordered the two Air Force One 747s, delivered during GHWB's term. The bus cost less than six hours of AF1 operating time, seems like a good financial choice to tour small-town America. And why, with 25% of the population, sworn military personnel and the top tier of GOP presidential candidates implying or believing that he is not our legitimate president, would we want to make the POTUS a softer target by having him fly commercial? I don't think Queens Margrethe and Beatrix have to worry about being viewed as userpers, nor do they need to stay alive to lead the free world. Take a breath, Mark. Where was your outrage when two unfunded and ill-thought-out wars were started? THAT was wasteful...
Forty car motorcade? Tres Excessive. The GOP could make great hay over this in an ad - why don't they have some imagination?
And as for Michelle expecting? I just can't see it. It would destroy her "figure" that the obamas have their personal trainer fly in to DC a couple times a week. Although her wardrobe is able to accomodate a pregnancy - the belt under b$$bs over sweater look.
Mark, one aspect of this I wish you had commented on is the effect all this pomp has on the president himself. He is literally cocooned inside of his own security apparatus, which itself is filled with sycophantic aids.
Of course, the real point is that that's precisely how a man who sees himself as being too big for the job would want it.