Former Education Secretary William J. Bennett, author of the famously bestselling The Book of Virtues, who gets up early as a morning-radio-show host, has a new book, The Book of Man: Readings on the Path to Manhood.
It’s another collection of the classics — of prayers and words we may take for granted, or which may be new to some of the younger among us. This anthology will give anyone a whole new appreciation for even the most familiar poems and prayers.
Secretary Bennett takes questions from National Review Online’s Kathryn Jean Lopez on men, women, and what can be done in our culture and in our lives to put men back on the path to manhood.
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KATHRYN JEAN LOPEZ: “The purpose of this book is to explore and explain what it means to be a man.” How can you pretend to do such a thing? It’s not like there is a mathematical formula. And we wouldn’t want one template, would we? Isn’t variety the spice of life?
WILLIAM J. BENNETT: Variety within a notion of human fulfillment and excellence. Aristotle says that we aim for the good, and that is our goal. Men can be very different, but we want them all to be excellent as men. I do believe that there are certain things that make men worthy.
LOPEZ: Is there something wrong with men today? Who’s to blame?
BENNETT: Yes, there is plenty wrong. We said “You go girl” 35 years ago, and the girls went. That’s fine, but men, particularly men in the working class and lower class, have fallen way behind in education, achievement, ambition, and — sadly — aspiration. We need to recover the proper sense of manhood and get men back on track. There is lots of blame to go around, but most of it doesn’t have to do with blaming anybody. The economy has changed, the nature of work has changed, and most importantly our notion of marriage and family has changed. People who have trashed marriage and the tradition do have something to answer for.
LOPEZ: You write that work, marriage, and religion are in decline. Who did that?
BENNETT: Modernity, secularism, Freud, Marx, and a lot of the intellectuals.
LOPEZ: “There was once a common understanding in our society among men that there are standards of action and behavior to which men should hold themselves,” you write. “Men, the code dictates, among other things, keep their word, whether in writing or not, men do not take advantage of women, men support their children, and men watch their language, especially around women and children. The code is fading.” What makes men so special that they were to keep to these things in the first place?
BENNETT: Because they were taught to. The universe in which men were raised was formerly a moral universe. Now, as many surveys have shown, many people in their twenties don’t know what things like “moral” and “immoral” mean. We have devalued and neglected the moral currency. As a result, there are fewer moral expectations of men, and they behave worse.
LOPEZ: Why would they watch their language if women don’t watch theirs? Aren’t women part of the trouble?
BENNETT: The devaluing has been general. It’s interesting that a lot of research shows that when you put men and women together in bars, colleges, or social settings, the women tend to behave down to the level of the men.
LOPEZ: Will there be a Book of Women?
BENNETT: No, maybe somebody should write it, but it won’t be me. I think I grasp and understand men. Women are a whole other question.
LOPEZ: “Men, some obsessed with sex, treat women as toys to be discarded when things get complicated.” Does the easy accessibility of pornography make this all the worse?
BENNETT: It’s part of the general lowering and devaluing and defining down of norms and expectations.
Having young boys, this has been a topic on my mind for years. After looking at how my nephews were raised and how I was raising my sons, I realized we were missing an opportunity.
Parents stress ideals, such as independence (get out of my house), pay your debts (stop borrowing mmoney from me), and find someone to love (get a life).
We do not adequately focus on raising fathers and husbands.
Most men from my father's generation believed in "leading by example." That can work if competing messages are few and far between.
Today, we have children hammered from 1,000 different directions with messages on topics from manhood to video games to sex.
Without constant attention to developing young boys into fathers and husbands, we risk raising them to be adults, but wholly incapable of being suitable fathers and husbands.
Biased, to be sure, but I firmly believe the Bible is the Roadmap to being a man, a husband, and a father. I don't mean to take away from Mr. Bennet's work, but sometimes it may be helpful to get back to some "source texts."
It is also enormously helpful to finesse our sons' relationship with the culture. They shouldn't be removed entirely from it, but if parents can home school and limit TV and Internet -- reducing the TV to nothing if possible -- while offering the interesting alternatives that are out there, families can absorb what good is left of the culture, shrug off the bad, and gain the good of our thousands of years' experience with civilization. It takes a lot of work and attention, and the work is never perfect, but great things can be accomplished. If, on the other hand, our sons spend the better part of their days marinating in a sick culture -- well, most won't make it through unscathed.
The Bible as a parenting guide. Excellent idea! The Bible has lots of excellent parenting roll models. Take for instance the legendary Abraham. He thought his wife was too old so he knocked up the maid instead. When it turned out the wife wasn't too old after all he threw the maid and his own son into the dessert to fend for themselves. How about that as an example of taking care of your children, eh? Let us not forget how this paragon of virtue was ready, willing, and able to impale his own son because the little voice in his head told him to.
How about another example of excellent parenting from the Bible, namely Abe's own nephew Lot. The apple must not fall too far from the tree since Lot, the only 'Godly' man in Sodom and Gomorrah, offered his virgin daughters to the mob to rape.
I'll look for parenting advice elsewhere. Thanks anyway.
@RTP - I wouldn't call you biased, I'd call you wise.
Raising boys to be men who would be good husbands and fathers, and leaders in society, means raising them to first and foremost love and respect their Creator - their heavenly Father.
Sounds like a great book. My brother, Captain Thomas Mannion, who served five years in the Pacific during WWII is the finest example of "real" men that I can thing of.
