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A World of Gifts
Gratitude is central.

By Rich Lowry


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Eventually social science works its way around to confirming eternal verities. So it is with gratitude.

An article in a psychological journal a few years ago noted that “throughout history, religious, theological and philosophical treatises have viewed gratitude as integral to well-being.” Psychology has recently worked to quantify the wisdom of the ages and confirmed — sure enough — it was correct.

A raft of recent research has established that grateful people are happier people. They are less depressed and less stressed. They are less likely to envy others and more likely to want to share. They even sleep better. As the journal article put it, empirical work “has suggested gratitude is as strongly correlated with well-being as are other positive traits, and has suggested that this relationship is causal.”

Gratitude has long been a neglected quality. A decade or so ago, the Encyclopedia of Human Emotions didn’t include it. (For that matter, neither did Bill Bennett’s affirmatively traditional The Book of Virtues.) As the New York Times reported back in 1998, “Psychologists rarely think much about what makes people happy. They focus on what makes them sad, on what makes them anxious.” They were more likely to study, in other words, the miseries of a Woody Allen than the wellsprings of joy.

Gratitude constitutes what philosopher David Hume called a “calm passion.” It doesn’t have the theatrical potential of anger and hatred, or courage and sacrifice. Nonetheless, there’s a reason it has been considered central to the good life and a good society by all major religions and by thinkers stretching from Cicero (“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others”) to Oprah (“Whenever you can’t think of something to be grateful for, remember your breath”).

Gratitude acknowledges our dependence on others and the debt we owe because of it. Grateful people want, somehow, to return the favor of their undeserved windfall. It is a sentiment that, in the jargon, is “pro-social.” A leading figure in its study, Michael McCullough of the University of Miami, maintains that it binds us to others beyond the ties of family and of commercial transactions.

Gratitude is at the root of patriotism, of the impulse to preserve and improve our patrimony. In a culture that tends to celebrate self-glorification, gratitude points us beyond our own demands and discontents. It inclines us to see all around us a world of gifts.

What did we do to inherit a country that is free and prosperous? To deserve Charlie Parker or Mark Twain? To build the Golden Gate Bridge or the Chrysler Building? To measure up to the beauties of the Catholic Mass or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir? Or simply to prove worthy of traffic lights and potable water?

In the classic essay “I, Pencil,” Leonard Read writes an account of the production of a pencil from the point of view of the pencil. The bottom line is that no one person could ever know enough to produce it alone: “Man can no more direct these millions of know-hows to bring me into being than he can put molecules together to create a tree.” If that’s true of the humble pencil, how much more so does it hold for our civilization?

Without gratitude, William F. Buckley Jr. wrote, “We are left with the numbing, benumbing thought that we owe nothing to Plato and Aristotle, nothing to the prophets who wrote the Bible, nothing to the generations who fought for freedoms activated in the Bill of Rights.” He called for “a rebirth of gratitude for those who have cared for us, living and, mostly, dead. The high moments of our way of life are their gifts to us.”

John Adams captured the grateful attitude when he acknowledged the hardships of this vale of tears while celebrating it all the same (if in anachronistic language): “Griefs upon griefs! Disappointments upon disappointments. What then? This is a gay, merry world notwithstanding.”

— Rich Lowry is the editor of National ReviewHe can be reached via e-mail: comments.lowry@nationalreview.com. © 2011 King Features Syndicate 

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COMMENTS   33

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Jacob R
   11/24/11 07:13

Should we be grateful to live in a country that kills a million children every year?

I know the RINOs who read this are more concerned about their tax rate, but sorry I'm not stoked to live in a country like this one because I can breathe.

I'm all for gratitude but Americans are much more likely to lie to themselves about their country, and the gratitude is for God letting them be wasteful baby murderers and still rich!

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   11/24/11 07:25

Thanks, Mr. Lowry, for the heart in your writing!

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   11/24/11 08:35

I thank you, Rich, for an inspiring, but incomplete, meditation. You've surely heard this all before, but it bears repeating: THANK is a transitive verb. It requires a direct object. The point of the holiday is that we thank God. Even GIVE (as in 'giving thanks') is a ditransitive--or trivalent--verb, requiring three parties: the giver, the gift, and the receiver. Every year, in the media, huge but silly creativity goes into avoiding any mention of our intended direct Object, the Receiver of thanks--God. It's as if they expect us to step outside on a clear night, look up into the vast heavens, and with great wonder and awe, utter a deeply moving, "Thank."
Next thing you know, they'll just be calling it 'Turkey Day.' Oh wait... never mind.

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   11/24/11 09:19
   11/24/11 09:29

I am grateful for my many blessings; God, family, friends; good food and company. I am also grateful to NRO for providing us with a forum to ponder and debate the important issues of our times - with humor and intelligence. Happy Thanksgiving, all!

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schoolpsych
   11/24/11 09:30

Beautiful, Rich. Thank you!

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Ben Johnson
   11/24/11 09:31

Thanks for this. Thanks for mentioning the Tabernacle Choir.

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stephen t bennett
   11/24/11 10:19

That was perfect.Thank you Mr Lowry

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   11/24/11 10:25

Anecdotally, I've been trying it for 20 years and Gratitude Works.

Being presented with the CAPTCHA: Chevrolet Volt, I am also greatful for that costly illustration of a statist economy and for sarcasm. And for NISSAN.

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   11/24/11 11:06

A fine article Mr. Lowry. Thank you for writing it. I believe it is one of your finest. I appreciate your first paragraph as well yes scientist do eventually work around to affirming eternal truths. May I also say on this thanksgiving that I am grateful to NRO and the forum they give all of us to discuss the most important issues of the day.

Just recently had a debate with a facebook friend about Reagan, the evils of capitalism and the Occupy movement. NRO furnished me with a fine article to link to on every point of our debate. So overwhelming was the fine information provided that my liberal friend retired from the the field but with enough grace to leave her refutation on her page for all to read and be informed. That is fine work that I am grateful for. May all of you have a very blessed Thanksgiving.

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 MAFV
   11/24/11 11:18

Thanks Mr. Lowry.

William F. Buckley Jr wrote,

"gratitude: Reflections On What We Owe To Our Country"

It was published October 1990...A short tremendous must read any conservative...for all Americans!!!

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   11/24/11 13:40
   11/24/11 14:17

Odd column, very odd column.

Odd because it comes from the editor of an on line magazine that subjects its readers to the usual passive advertisements, but increasingly the in-your-face variety. Then it forces you to watch a Solve Media advertisement and enter a captcha every time you want to post a comment. Then, it asks for voluntary donations.

However, when you do make a donation, as I have for the last two years, you don’t even receive an automated receipt much less a thank you.

Perhaps sometime today, having written this column, Mr. Lowry will take the time to read it.

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Capitalist
   11/25/11 02:31

Be grateful that they DO run the adds, because there may be no article for you to complain about otherwise.

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   11/28/11 12:57

It’s not the ads, which are annoying but necessary. It is the lack of gratitude personally expressed to those of us that contribute to NRO.

Suppose a grandparent continually sends gifts to a grandchild but no thank you note is forthcoming. What should the grandparent do?

Continue to send the gifts without saying anything.
Continue to send the gifts but say something
Stop sending the gifts but don’t say anything.
Stop sending the gifts but say something.

What say you?

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   11/25/11 03:33

DANG!! If I felt like you, I'd leave in a NY mnute!! I'm not leaving---but if I really felt like you: I'd be gone. Even these memorable 'ambient nights' come with a few mosquitoes. BTW, i do know what you mean..But the whole is greater than the sum of it's parts. :) best regards, maureen.

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   11/28/11 13:49

Oh I’ll continue to read NRO. How else would I ever find out what Victor Davis Hanson is really thinking when he writes his columns without MikeB’s assistance?

But I will no longer contribute. I’ve contributed $200 for each of the last two years. Not a huge amount, but what I figure is certainly at least my share of NRO operating costs. But my contribution on September 20 was apparently not significant enough to warrant even a automated acknowledgement. NRO did muster up enough energy a couple months after my contribution to send out a solicitation letter from Publisher Jack Fowler that included the charming phrase “If during the course of this calendar year you were so kind as to send National Review a generous contribution…thank you. We desperately needed it.” If? If?

But maybe I’m out of line here. Maybe my concepts of etiquette is out of date. Maybe following NRO’s standards, Emily Post’s etiquette on wedding thank you notes should be updated so that we can look forward to the following type of thank you notes:

Dear Friend:

If you attended our wedding and sent a generous gift – and as such are always freely given, all gifts, no matter their value, are held by us as truly generous – thank you. We desperately needed it.

And we will not stand in your way if you see fit to send us another gift.

If you did not send us a wedding gift, for whatever reason, if you can send us one now, then please do so.

Need we tell you that we are thankful for you, your friendship and support?

Sincerely

Mr. John Smith-Johnson and Ms. Mary Johnson-Smith

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   11/25/11 14:17

You know what I'm thankful for? The advertisements, even the ones that jump out and fill your sceen simply for having made the mistake of mousing over them. And for the the captcha ads.

Why? Because they generate revenue for this mag, much of which they lost when they lost the smallmag shipping rates. Used to be that small magazines got the same shipping bigger mags got but for a lot less money. That is, they got favored by the federal government, just for being small magazines.

Now this would hardly be a problem for liberal magazines, as having the government decide things like this is, to a degree, right up their alley.

But for a conservative magazine, there was less more hypocritical than to call for small government EXCEPT where it entailed shipping cost breaks for small mags.

Now they've lost those cost breaks and must find new sources of revenue, and it would hardly be surprising if in-your-face ads are doing just that.

In short, I am grateful that my favorite conservative mag can finally live up to its own principles.

Hell, maybe I WILL donate.

Nevertheless, you are right: how hard is it to create an automatic thank-you note?

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   11/26/11 13:50

What I think they should do is to divide up the donor list, cross referenced to our screen names, and then have the staff and writers send hand written Christmas Cards (or holiday cards for those who are easily offended) thanking us for our donations during 2011. What would be more conservative than hand written thank you notes? They could buy some pizza and beer and make a party out of it. I could imagine a thank you Christmas card that goes something like this:

Dear MikeB:

Thank you for your contribution to NRO of $1.49 during 2011. I appreciate both your contribution and your comments to my columns. I hope you and your family have a happy holiday season and a prosperous 2012.

Yours,
Victor Davis Hanson

PS. My teeth weren’t clinched as I wrote that. Honest.

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   11/28/11 05:37

I don't live in the US and the ads and capcha seem much less intrusive here. I have donated to many of NROs fund raising drives both when they came in the mail and now online. I have always, always received a thank you note in my inbox. So they do send thank yous and I hope that they rectify your problem in not sending you a thank you note soon.

However I do agree that as annoying as the adverts are it is good to know that they are generating revenue for NRO and NRODT.

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