Leticia Velasquez is the editor of a new book, A Special Mother Is Born, which gathers the inspiring testimonies of parents who were given bad prenatal diagnoses, or found themselves unexpectedly the parents of a child with special needs. Many of them found themselves fighting for their child’s life, often against the advice of doctors. Velasquez talks about the book with National Review Online’s Kathryn Jean Lopez.
KATHRYN JEAN LOPEZ: The book is called “A Special Mother Is Born,” but isn’t the testimony of fathers as, if not even more, important?
LETICIA VELASQUEZ: I found it easier to gather testimonies from mothers, perhaps because it’s natural for mothers to share birth stories. In fact, I did not intend to include fathers’ stories until I came across former senator Rick Santorum’s article “Two Years Worth Every Tear” in the Philadelphia Inquirer. His testimony about his daughter Isabella Maria, born with Trisomy 18 against all the odds, was so captivating that I felt inspired to ask for permission to include it in my book. Soon afterward, I found stories from two other prominent fathers, Dr. Gerard Nadal, contributor to LifeNews, and Patrick Coffin, radio-show host at Catholic Answers. Their stories offer positive portrayals of fatherhood too seldom seen in the media.
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LOPEZ: Do you see your book as important for marriages?
VELASQUEZ: Not all married couples will face a prenatal diagnosis of a special-needs baby, but it is certain that all marriages will face major challenges. Life sends us unexpected crises: infidelity, death of a parent, loss of a home or a job, addiction. Learning from the couples who dealt with potentially marriage-wrecking obstacles and emerged from the crisis stronger, more forgiving, and more loving is invaluable. It’s the basis for self-help groups from AA to Retrouvaille. I want married readers to note that the couples who contributed to this book grew closer to God in response to the challenges they faced raising their special-needs child, and, as a result, grew closer to one another. The child who precipitated a marital crisis became a source of healing for the entire family.
LOPEZ: What is KIDS?
VELASQUEZ: The acronym stands for “Keep Infants with Down Syndrome.” My friend Eileen Haupt and I both have daughters with Down Syndrome, and we noticed that there was no group in the March for Life representing one of the most highly targeted groups for abortion; the unborn baby with Down Syndrome. They are aborted at a rate of 92 percent when their mothers receive a prenatal diagnosis. We began KIDS to be their voice. The group began in fall of 2008, and was so well received by the pro-life media that our media outreach now lasts throughout the year and has included EWTN, Canadian TV, and various radio stations, including NPR. Our message is that a doctor can tell you about your child’s diagnosis, but only a parent can tell you about the joy your child will bring you.
Thank you for the beautiful interview. Last fall, I learned that a friend's sister-in-law was finally pregnant after a year or more of fertility treatments and this 2nd IVF procedure. They soon learned their baby had Down Syndrome and my friend said that they were probably "going to get rid of it." I tried telling her how happy people with Down Syndrome babies are with their children and how much love they bring to their families. She shut me down. They did "get rid of it' and I've heard no more. I prayed for them and just can't get out of my mind how 2 supposed Catholics who wanted a baby so badly could do such a thing. I did look up a few articles and didn't send them. I regret that. I didn't want my friend to be more hurt or upset with me and told myself to mind my own business. But is not a life worth it? I mean, if I hear a wiff of anything pro-Obama or anti-Tea Party, I'm right there on the defense and counter-attack (and I live in NYC so its almost constant). I've long ago given up minding my own business on politics as this country is too important for me to remain silent. Being silent is being part of the problem. I've saved your interview and if I ever hear of any such murmurings again, it will be sent.
Oh2Ski
I feel your pain. A month ago, I spent hours counseling a Latin American mother of an unborn baby with Down syndrome, only to have her abort her baby the next day. It hurts me profoundly when women close their hearts to these beautiful little ones who have the potential to fill their lives with joy. It is an incalculable loss.
You have an idea of how hostile the culture is to such children since you live in NYC. We are fighting against years of indoctrination that preach the lies:
1. Children are here to make us happy. (It is we who are here for them)
2. Children with Down syndrome can't possible make us happy. (see our faces?)
3. Its better for such children to die before birth than make us and them suffer
(Dr Brian Skotko's survey puts this one to rest)
Thank you for not giving up on babies like my Christina. Save this article, and a copy of my book for this mother. Someday she will be faced with searing sense of regret over the abortion and I hope that you can provide a path to healing for her. Her child lives in God's arms and is praying for her healing as I write this.
I am translating "A Special Mother is Born" into Spanish to be ready for the mother I counseled when she is ready to receive healing and hope.
What a lovely article. When I was in High School we had blocks of time called study hall where I found I had nothing to do. A good friend suggested that I volunteer with the LABB program that was attached to our school. It was run by a remarkable woman with extraordinary patience and faith. I taught sign language to non-verbal students during one block. We took the kids to the gym to get ready for the Special Olympics, and I took a young man born with permanent muscle contractures to the gym where we did physical therapy exercises together.
When I first volunteered I thought that I was doing a good deed. It took little time for me to realize what a privilege it was for me to have these young adults in my life. They were so grateful for every bit of help and attention they got. Every small progress was a triumph to be celebrated. Some of these students had spent their childhoods in institutions having parents who couldn't raise them. Yet, they were the most loving people you could meet. There were challenging moments, but they were easy to get through with humor. The students I had set out to help taught me greater gratitude for my blessings in life. They taught me to be grateful for even the smallest triumphs. They, who knew that they were different, that they would never get to do the things that came to me so easily, getting a license, saving for college, dreaming of marriage and a family, these kids knew that all of this wasn't theirs to have in life, yet they loved with the purest love and rejoiced with the greatest joy.
God bless you for having your beautiful daughter. Soak up every blessed moment you have with her.
Kathryn Jean, thanks for your consistent attention to the totality of culture of life issues. Leticia, I have enjoyed reading the interview. I only want to make a comment regarding a comment!
Leticia, you suggested that A Special Mother is Born be given to a mom who is post-abortive, and you mention that you are going to offer the book to a post-abortive mom, as well. This book is great to give to Catholic families raising children with various special needs/medical needs. However, I would gently caution you against handing this out to post-abortive moms who had prenatal diagnosis. Your intentions of course, are good, but for a variety of reasons, it's not appropriate content for those who have not already had help and healing. And even then, these stories can be difficult for them. Instead, I would suggest you send both moms mentioned in these comments to Theresa Bonopartis of Lumina who will help them wherever they are on the journey toward healing. For those who are not familiar with Theresa and her work w/ Lumina, she is among the first (if not the very first) to recognize that helping those who sought abortion after prenatal diagnosis requires its own specific approach. External Link Her program has worked so well that the Archdiocese of Washington has begun to use it with women in the area who aborted because of prenatal diagnosis.
BTW, I do practice what I preach here. On our website outreach for prenatal diagnosis we direct post-abortive moms not to spend time on the site reading stories, but instead to find supportive community via Theresa Bonopartis. Thanks again for the opportunit to get the post-abortive info out there to those who may need it.
Leticia, you are to be commended for the great work that you have done on this book! As a friend and contributer with my son's story, I know how difficult it was in getting everyone's submissions in on time. You shepherded this project with great patience and gentle forbearance, an example to future editors of collected works
Regarding the comment about Theresa Bonopartis, I'm sure that my friend Theresa would say that women all heal very differently, and not in any monolithic or scripted manner. Perhaps Monica didn't know that we have had post-abortive women contacting us and telling us that the stories in the book have helped aid their healing process, which is why you say that you would recommend the book to post-abortive women.
As one woman said to me, she knows that her abortion was wrong, but after reading these stories, she now knows that there is nothing so terrible in a prenatal diagnosis that would ever lead her to do it again.
Great work, Leticia. In the words of Saint Paul, "May the Lord who has begun this good work in you bring it to a fruitful conclusion."
