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January Diary
Tabloids, snooty waiters, and the offside rule.

By John Derbyshire


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From the cover of Dinner with Churchill


How smart we are! All right, I’ll admit it, I do read comment threads on well-managed sites I’m not contributing to. The London Daily Mail, for instance.

On January 29 the Mail ran a story about the Chinese oligarchs — citizens of the People’s Republic who have got rich beyond the dreams of avarice by playing the angles in politics, economics, and family connections.

Between them they control the majority of the Chinese economy, where corruption and vested interests are hidden behind a cloak of secrecy.

And with the rest of the world teetering on bankruptcy, these unstoppable bosses are poised to take over a string of Western companies.

It was this entry on the comment thread that caught my eye:

They seem like very nice people. I am glad we Westerners sent millions of jobs to China thus giving them huge profits to come back and buy our companies. Look how much we saved on labor costs. Look how cheap our goods are. We are very smart people here in the West. These people don’t realize who they are up against.

— James, Ascot, 29/1/2012 20:11

Tabloid Heaven. Speaking of the London Daily Mail, I note that their online version is now the world’s most-visited newspaper website, having passed the New York Times in December.

I’m not surprised. The Mail website is one of the first I visit in my morning news-browse. It strikes just the right balance (for me — and obviously for a lot of other people too) of newsy and lurid. Who can resist stories like, to take a few from just the last few days of January:

“The boy who swallowed his twin: Three-year-old has body of parasitic sibling growing inside his stomach”

“Cameron’s climb-down: as I said in December, Dave’s an EU pansy

“Fan handcuffs himself to goalpost during Premier League match because Ryanair wouldn’t give his daughter a job

“Newt Gingrich’s big, slobbering mutual love affair with the elite media (Newt Gingrich loves the media elite and craves their attention . . . )”

“Cannibal who ate head of former lover proposes to Satan-worshipping vampire girlfriend behind bars of psychiatric unit”

This is the finest tradition of scrappy tabloid journalism — well-nigh dead now in the U.S.A., with nothing here between the smug, soporific elite sonorities of the New York Times and Washington Post, and the absurdities of Weekly World News (“Woman Marries Building!”).

Fifty years ago, as I was getting to grips with the social order in the land of my birth, I took in the common perceptions of Britain’s wide range of national daily newspapers and the demographics they each appealed to.

The Times — Movers and shakers, senior civil servants, captains of industry, serious people.

Daily Telegraph — Retired Indian Army officers, Anglican priests, distressed gentlefolk.

Guardian (in those days still the Manchester Guardian) — Schoolteachers, leftist academics, Nonconformist priests, people whose job title included words like “administrative” and “liaison” — the then-emerging New Class.

Daily Mail — Wives of people who read The Times.

Daily Express — Small-business types, ex-NCOs, wives of people who read the Telegraph.

Daily Mirror — Thoughtful proles.

Daily Sketch — Dumb proles.

1   2   3   4   5   Next >

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COMMENTS   5

EXPAND  

   02/02/12 11:14

I took Hanson's comment to be a sarcastic rendering of the Obamite worldview on those subjects, in which tea partiers et al. must be racists because it is impossible to be on the right and not be racist, and any objection to public debt or any other progressive shibboleth is always and everywhere motivated by racism, because that is all any kind of conservative ever thinks about and his or her sole aim is a racist white America. And because public debt and other progressive shibboleths are so obviously universal goods, how could anyone oppose them unless their opposition was merely a cover for something else, which must be race because there is no other issue.

Hanson's comment struck me as straight-up parody. I don't see it as particularly indicative of anything about his own views on race, or anything else except the demonstrable madness of Obamite thought-process.

The leftist approach to introducing race is essentially the same as on sex- they spend all their time thinking about it and altering policy and law based on it, pretend they don't care about it as an issue, and then when anyone criticizes their actions they accuse opponents of being obsessed with sex.

It is indicative of a kind of very high intelligence, of a tactical, debate club type. In any other context, it strikes me as some sort of weird political autism.

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Jim_
   02/02/12 13:07

You are of an age, Derb, where you shouldn't feel constrained by manners when given a bad steak. The proper counter response to the snotty waiter would have been, "well, okay, I was hoping for something that would make this badly cooked steak taste good, but I'll settle for something that will help me choke it down. Could you please bring me some ketchup then, and a couple fingers of bourbon?"

As for liberals' outlook - I don't know where you get the fundamentally optimistic thing. They are optimistic about how their utopian schemes will work out great... but their day-to-day talk, their discussion of politics, the way they address conservatives and each other is relentlessly negative. Outside of once seeing some rats turn on one of their beady-eyed fellows, I've never seen that sort of pervasive, backbiting and depressing downspirited-ness.

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Eric Jablow
   02/02/12 21:46

I thought the best description of Britain's newspapers was by the fictional Prime Minister James Hacker:

Hacker: Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers: The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country; The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country; The Times is read by the people who actually do run the country; The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country; The Financial Times is read by people who own the country; The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country; And The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.

Sir Humphrey: Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun?

Bernard: Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big [*redacted*].

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Lewis Sand
   02/02/12 23:06

You are aware that there are millions of net trolls employed there being paid half a yuan (about 8c US) per comment to post pro-Chicom comments all over the internet, right?

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DOOM161
   02/06/12 13:39

Tabloid journalism hasn't been the same in the US since the National Inquirer broke the story about John Edwards' love child.

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