Monica’s Manifesto
How to be a Happy Warrior.

Monica Crowley


Monica Crowley is the author of the new book What the (Bleep) Just Happened? The Happy Warrior’s Guide to the Great American Comeback and talks about it with National Review Online’s Kathryn Jean Lopez.

KATHRYN JEAN LOPEZ: What are you doing with a book with that title?

MONICA CROWLEY: I was going to call it Fifty Shades of Obama but then thought better of it.

One day last summer, I was having dinner with a good friend. I told her that I wanted to write another book but wasn’t quite sure as to what its focus should be. We then started talking about how epically weird the last few years under Obama have been. Every day, we were getting hit with a new piece of social engineering or some new policy to take down American power or prestige abroad. Our enemies were getting olive branches, our allies were getting dissed, and millions of Americans were being moved into government dependency at home. “What the (bleep) just happened?” I sighed. She looked at me and said, “That’s your title.” And so it came to be. Of course, I used an actual unprintable word. I thought I’d let each reader supply his or her own favorite profanity.


LOPEZ: What the bleep did the Supreme Court just do?

CROWLEY: The one-man Supreme Court decision on Obamacare sums up the very essence of my book. Socialized medicine in America, the land of the free? And upheld by the final gatekeeper of the Constitution? What. The. Bleep. The book traces all of the Obama-era leftist insanity, constitutional abuses, and assaults on our individual and economic freedoms, of which Obamacare was the most epic. President Obama and his wingmen in Congress quickly passed the nearly $1 trillion stimulus so they could then focus solely on their health-care scheme, for one major reason: If the government controls your health care, the government controls you. Obamacare was never about health care. It was about government power, dependency, and control. And now, thanks to the intellectually incoherent decision by Chief Justice John Roberts, we’re not only stuck with this grotesque attack on the Constitution, the Tax Man will now be “enforcing” your health care.



LOPEZ: You’re a Ph.D. Why would you call John Kerry a “kept woman”?

CROWLEY: It’s the most vivid — and accurate — description of the senior senator from Massachusetts I could think of.


LOPEZ: What’s your fascination with the word “kook,” as in Axelrod and friends, as in “Big Kookuna” to describe the man who would become our current president?

CROWLEY: As I describe in the book, this is not your father’s or grandfather’s Democratic party. Barack Obama isn’t Harry Truman or John Kennedy or Henry “Scoop” Jackson — responsible, pro-growth supporters of a strong America, economically, militarily, politically, culturally. The current band of leftists taking the country off the cliff are what I call the Far-Left kooks. They come out of the progressive ideology (socialism, Communism, liberalism, statism — the label doesn’t even matter much) that calls for redistributive policies at home as a way to enforce “equality,” and retrenchment and apologias abroad as a way to atone for being a nefarious force in the world. Once the kooks took over the modern Democratic party in 1968, they nominated kook after kook for president, but it wasn’t until they found their perfect marriage of man and mission in Barack Obama that they were able to grab the brass ring. And in the first two years of the Kook Presidency (with big kook majorities in Congress), they were able to effect their most deeply held plans: massive Keynesian spending sprees, elevating the federal-spending baseline to a staggering 25.2 percent from about 19.6 percent, socialized medicine, and turning America from global leader into just another country “leading from behind.” The objective of the kooks has always been to expand government dependency, thereby creating a permanent Democratic voting majority, and taking America down a notch or two. And in three and a half short years, they have gone far to achieve it.


LOPEZ: But “kooks”? These are public servants, right? They deserve some respect, even if we might disagree with them?

CROWLEY: They are no “public servants” in the traditional sense. They are servants of a wholly anti-American ideology, and their mission is not to tinker here and there with policy within the broad confines of our foundational principles. Their objective is to, in the words of Obama himself, “remake America” — top to bottom — as a full-blown statist, redistributionist enterprise. They are not productive “public servants.” They are a deliberate and deeply committed “wrecking crew.”


LOPEZ: You observe the “cult of personality” that helped Barack Obama become President Obama. Can he rely on any of those elements — his personal story and the racial component, for instance — in his reelection bid? 

CROWLEY: Voting is as much an emotional act as it is an intellectual one. Many people are still emotionally invested in the first biracial president with the electric smile. But unlike the last time he ran for president, this time he has an actual record to defend. He cannot run on it, because normal Americans believe it to be disastrous. He and the kooks, of course, believe it to be a wild success in terms of achieving their goal of growing dependency while growing government. But he knows that if he spoke the truth about that, most Americans would run screaming into the street. So he can no longer rely on his cult of personality or his record, so he must run a scorched-earth campaign against Governor Romney and the Republicans. His problem is that that approach runs totally counter to the “hope and change” guy who was going to transcend that kind of petty politicking and sit above it. His “kill Romney” strategy has him hip-deep in the mud, and that’s not good for the Obama brand. Of course, the Obama brand was bogus to begin with.