From the last Morning Jolt of the week:
Have a Koch Response Letter and a Smile
Thank goodness the good folks at Koch are here to provide us with a lighter note to end the week. Philip Ellender, president of Government & Public Affairs at Koch Companies Public Sector, responds to a fundraising letter and phone call from an unexpected source:
“Dear Senator Patty Murray, Chair of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee
“For many months now, your colleagues in the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee leadership have engaged in a series of disparagements and ad hominem attacks about us, apparently as part of a concerted political and fundraising strategy. Just recently, Senator Reid wrote in a DSCC fundraising letter that Republicans are trying to “force through their extreme agenda faster than you can say ‘Koch Brothers.’
“So you can imagine my chagrin when I got a letter from you on June 17 asking us to make five-figure contributions to the DSCC. You followed that up with a voicemail* indicating that, if we contributed heavily enough, we would garner an invitation to join you and other Democratic leaders at a retreat in Kiawah Island this September.
“I’m hoping you can help me understand the intent of your request because it’s hard not to conclude that DSCC politics have become so cynical that you actually expect people whom you routinely denounce to give DSCC money.”
“Apparently, Satan was screening his calls,” suggests Moe Lane. “It does not really require much in the way of elaboration, or anything else except a certain aesthetic appreciation for the way that its author (Philip Ellender) manages to call Senator Murray (to say nothing of her party) a vicious, stupid hypocrite without once actually using any of those words. I have spent some time trying to learn how to be elegantly rude to people who richly deserve it, and let me tell you: Ellender has the right skill set. Enjoy.”
ADDENDA: Jon Huntsman’s spokesman Tim Miller has an easy job, some days, noticing, “Actual line from Florida Democrat’s release on @JonHuntsman: ‘Huntsman supports radical Republican plan that would balance the budget.’”
How dare he!