December
21, 2002, 12:45 p.m. Merry
Christmas to My Jewish Mother
Growing up with
a menorah and a tree.
By Dave Konig
ike
most Jewish mothers, mine had an almost supernatural talent for saying
just the right thing in any given situation to drive me completely insane.
One example (chosen at random from a storehouse of several million): When
I called her with the news that, after years of struggling in the outer
regions of show business, I had finally landed a big role on Broadway,
she responded, "Well, you keep at it dear, things should work out
eventually.…"
Don't get me wrong,
she wasn't a pessimist. In fact, she always looked on the bright side
— it's just that her brain worked faster than her mouth and sometimes
her thoughts came out a little, well, fershimilled. She was a confounding,
but fascinating, woman. Opinionated, compulsive, talkative, extremely
bright, and extremely short. She read voraciously and indiscriminately;
always working on several books at once. And, as if that wasn't enough
simultaneous intellectual stimulation, she played elaborate word games
with the books she was reading. As she read, she would write down the
first word of the first paragraph of each page on a little memo pad and
then proceed to make little checkmarks for each time that word would appear
in the rest of the book. Her entire life she was always surrounded by
hundreds of books and thousands of little memo pads filled with words
and checkmarks.
Her spiritual life
was equally peripatetic: She was Jewish, we were Jewish, but she had an
unquenchable thirst for knowledge and a core restlessness that led to
a lifelong self-education in theology — and a more-than-occasional
dabbling in alternative spiritual paths. For a while she was very interested
in Christian Science, the writings of Bishop Fulton Sheen were always
comforting to her, and, as an on-again-off-again member of Overeaters
Anonymous, she had a more than passing acquaintance with the 12 steps
of recovery.
For her, none of
this was ever a substitute for Judaism, or a rejection of it. To the contrary,
she felt it made her a better Jew; the more she learned and understood
about the religions of the world, great and small, the closer she felt
to God and the more tolerant she was of her fellow man — and wasn't
that the whole point of being a good Jew?
My mother loved Christmas.
My parents believed, quite simply, that Christmas was a heck of a lot
of fun — especially for kids — and we weren't about to let a
little thing like the fact that we were Jewish get in the way of the fun!
So, like a good All-American Jewish family, we lit the Hanukah menorah
for eight nights, then got up early on Christmas Day to open the presents
Santa Claus had left under the Christmas tree. We wished each other "Merry
Christmas" (for those under 30, "Merry Christmas" was a
happy phrase — people used to say it to each other all the time,
up until a few years ago).
A few years ago my
mother contracted colon cancer. She was only 67 — it was a bad break
for a great gal who had a tough life. In the end she was cared for 'round
the clock in an incredible facility: Mary Manning Walsh on the east side
of Manhattan. She died on the sixth floor, loved and comforted and eased
into the next life by some of the most wonderful people on earth: Gloria,
George, Nurse Jackson, Conchita, Theresa. And, of course, prayed for by
Sister Noreen and all the loving nuns and priests at this Catholic institution.
It's been five years
now. Like a good Jewish boy I think of her at this time of year. Merry
Christmas, Mom.
—
Comedian Dave Konig
starred on Broadway in Grease! and won a New York Emmy as the co-host
of Subway Q&A. He just completed his first novel Good Luck Mr.
Gorsky. Konig is an NRO contributor.
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ike
most Jewish mothers, mine had an almost supernatural talent for saying
just the right thing in any given situation to drive me completely insane.
One example (chosen at random from a storehouse of several million): When
I called her with the news that, after years of struggling in the outer
regions of show business, I had finally landed a big role on Broadway,
she responded, "Well, you keep at it dear, things should work out
eventually.…"
