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 ast
week, NRO editor Jonah Goldberg wrote a column about
the growing popularity of the Klingon language, among
other things.
Mr. Goldberg was stumped over the translation into Klingon of the
phrase: "Can I borrow your towel? I just hit a water buffalo."
David Trimboli, an amateur linguist in Cold Spring Harbor,
NY, replies:
Sir,
The link to
your article has been passed around the Klingon Language Mailing
List, so you may have received other letters about the same thing.
All the same, I can translate your very useful quote: "Can
I borrow your towel? I just hit a water buffalo."
To translate
Klingon, one needs the following resources: The Klingon Dictionary
(TKD), Klingon for the Galactic Traveler (KGT), and the
New Canonical Words List — available at http://www.kli.org/tlh/newwords.html.
The first two books were written by Marc Okrand. TKD presents the
essence of the Klingon vocabulary and almost all of the grammar
(and you can't skip the grammar if you expect to get it right).
KGT is a book of dialects, slang, new and special vocabulary, and
a whole bunch of other things. The New Canonical Words List
is a compilation of all other words provided by Marc Okrand, including
etymology and sources (newsgroups, the KLI journal, HolQeD
Linguistics, etc.). There is no authorized online Klingon
dictionary: It is believed that such a document would be a violation
of Paramount's copyright (this is one reason why you wouldn't have
gotten far in translating your sentence: Most of the basic words
are in TKD, and the KLI has no interest in competing with Okrand's
work).
There are two
snags that make translating your quote difficult. The first is the
word "towel." No doubt you looked and failed to find a
word for it. I suppose we shouldn't be surprised at that: On Star
Trek: The Next Generation, Worf is known to dislike bathing
("Swimming is too much like … bathing"). Other Klingon
hygiene jokes may be found on the various Star Trek series.
So it should come as no surprise that Klingons haven't provided
us with a word for "towel." (And in the real world, Marc
Okrand just didn't think of adding it, or he specifically decided
that Klingons don't have a word for it.)
So how do we
translate "towel"? It's pretty simple: QaDwI' "thing
which dries." This, of course, could also refer to a hair dryer
or clothes dryer, but the point of the joke will not be changed.
If you wish to be pedantic about it, say nuv QaDwI' "people
drier," "thing which dries people."
The first sentence
may thus be translated as QaDwI'lIj vIngIp 'e' Dachaw''a'?
"Will you permit me to borrow your drier?" I could say
QaDwI'lIj vIngIplaH'a' , which is, "Can I borrow your
drier?" but this is just as incorrect as it is in English (it's
"may," not "can").
However, as
the point of your article was the allure of the fictional Klingon
culture, perhaps we would be better off in recasting the sentence
to fit the Klingon mindset: jIHvaD QaDwI'lIj yInob. "Give
me your drier." This may be shortened, if you like, to QaDwI'lIj
HInob.
Now on to the
second sentence. Klingons have no word for "water buffalo."
Buffalo are indigenous to Earth, so there's no reason why they would
have a word for them. What's the English word for the Klingon animal
"targ"? There isn't one, and even if Klingons were real,
there wouldn't be one. We'd just say "targ."
And therein
lies the real problem with the quote. It's a pun, and puns are often
difficult to translate between languages. (For some amazing examples
of cross-language puns, see The Klingon Hamlet . For every
pun written by Shakespeare, the translators managed to create a
parallel pun. Shakespearean humor can be very complex, and the translators
took special care to retain the complexity of the humor.) You want
a towel because you hit a water buffalo, as if you got wet from
the water. But if we try to describe a water buffalo in Klingon,
it is unlikely that the words used will have anything to do with
water. (And I also consider it likely that you realized this when
you began your "quest," simply to ensure the translation
would fail.)
But, if you
really want to preserve the joke, you'll need to talk about a "water
animal" or some such thing. "Water animal" would
be bIQ Ha'DIbaH, but just as in the English, it's likely
that your listeners would be thinking of a fish, in which case a
towel would make sense, and the joke would be ruined.
Or, if you
want to save the name "buffalo" (as we retain the name
"targ"), you might call it a " bIQ "buffalo."
In this case, though Klingons would be scratching their heads about
what a bIQ buffalo was, you'd get: bIQ buffalo vIngeQpu'
"I've collided with a water buffalo." "Collided,"
of course, could be substituted for with "smashed into"
or "hit," so there's no need to think this isn't a good
translation.
By this time,
however, the joke is pretty lame. Anyway, here is the translation:
QaDwI'lIj Hinob bIQ *buffalo* vIngeQpu'. I hope this
is of use to you on your drive home today.
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