10/19/00 12:00 p.m.
Dems and the Single Woman
A disturbing relationship.

By Dennis Prager, lecturer, author, and host of a daily national radio show.
His latest book is Happiness Is a Serious Problem.

n analyses of the last presidential election — and polls measuring the current election — one group stands out as disproportionately Democratic: unmarried women. Single women's support for Democrats crosses all racial, ethnic, and religious lines. White and black, Hispanic and Jewish, rich and poor, single women all vote Democratic.

It is tempting to attribute this to the support of women in general for the Democrats, but that is inaccurate: Married women favor Republicans. Nor is being single a predictor of Democratic support — unmarried men also prefer Republicans.

The most obvious reason for the single woman's support of Democrats is the party's unconditional support of a woman's right to abortion. But as valid an explanation as this may be, it is not necessarily the most important reason. If it were, why would so many of these women vote Republican once they marry? Many married women believe in the right to abortion, and many of them even seek abortions. (On the other hand, it is possible that many women have a different view of abortion once they marry and become mothers.)

One explanation is that the Democratic party offers itself — and the government — as the protector of, and provider for, millions of single women. The Democratic party offers its governance as a surrogate husband — and it is so regarded by many unmarried women. Most women have a primal desire to be protected, and, if they have children, to have their children protected.

To make this observation is neither insulting nor sexist, any more than it would be insulting or sexist to speak of men as being innately more physically aggressive or less naturally inclined to monogamous commitment. Whether because of evolution, socialization, nature , divine design, or an amalgam of all of these, women have a powerful need to feel secure (the shift of American priorities from liberty to security can be regarded as one example of the feminization of American society). For the vast majority of women in history this need was met through marriage. That is why almost no woman marries "down." Virtually every woman wants a man who meets her primal desire for a protector/provider. This is why it is often so difficult for a professionally successful woman to find a mate. There are few single men more successful than she is, and most of those men are quite happy (indeed often prefer) to marry women who are far less successful than they are.

The Democratic party regularly uses the rhetoric and offers the promises of a protecting husband: "I will take care of you"; "I will fight for you"; "I will fight for your children." We will provide your child's health care, we will provide day care, we will provide pre-school education. We will do most everything for you and your children that a husband would. This has long been viewed as one of the reasons for the absent husbands and fathers that plague the black inner city — the need for them has been reduced thanks to welfare and government.

A second possible reason for single women's support for the Democrats is that married women, especially those with children — like married men with children — are generally more mature than when they were single. Virtually every married man and woman will acknowledge that marriage is maturing.

One consequence of this maturation is a desire not to be treated as a child. The Democratic approach to the populace is often like that of a parent to a child. Take tax policy: We will keep your money because you do not know how to spend it. But we will give you an allowance when we see fit. Or take its attitude toward black Americans: Without us you cannot make it. America is too tough for you to make it on your own.

Another consequence of the maturation that accompanies marriage and having children is leaving behind the self-centeredness more characteristic of the premarital state. A married person is therefore more likely to ask, "What is best for the country?"

Whether or not one accepts these explanations, what is unquestionable is that there are two very undesirable social consequences of unmarried women making Democratic victories possible. One is that more and more women will choose government as their surrogate spouse, thereby depriving themselves of the personal and moral growth available through marriage and depriving more and more children of a father.

The other disquieting consequence is that just as single women have become dependent on the Democrats, the party has become dependent on the single woman. We thus have the terrible reality of one of the two major parties depending for its success on the decline of the nuclear family. Married men and women who have children are the least likely Americans to vote Democratic.

At this time in American history, Democratic victories necessitate weak families. That is not good for America.