Levity

by Jonah Goldberg

From a reader:


Jonah: Your phrase “the dirt nap” reminded of an old Top Ten list I thought you might like.

Top 10 Mafia Euphemisms for Death – November 1, 1990

10. Checked into the wooden Waldorf.
9. No longer eligible for census.
8. Dropping both AT&T and MCI.
7. Your highway taxes at work.
6. Upcoming guest on 20/20.
5. He’s fallen and he can’t get up.
4. Resting his organs.
3. McRibs (for a limited time only)
2. Kicked the oxygen habit.
1. Bought a Yugo.

Of course, it’s not as good as this one:

Top Ten Star Wars Fan Euphemisms For Not Having A Girlfriend

10. Camping alone outside the theater.

9. My force is no longer with me.

8. The Death Star is not yet operational.

7. The Empire’s striking out.

6. Shaking hands with the wookie.

5. Darth Vader has no place to put his helmet.

4. Oiling the droid.

3. Unable to set coordinates for the planet Babe.

2. Spending the night with Han Solo.

1. Tractor beam not powerful enough.

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