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Hey Gang!


First day of my holiday hiatus, thought I’d pop my head out of the
ground and give you a bunch of thoughts Larry King style. “King Kong”
is three times more movie than has ever been made before, and that is
its greatest achievement and biggest flaw. (“Hey, maybe Kong could
fight a T-Rex!” “I know, but how cool would it be if he fought two
T-Rexes!” “I’m the director and I call the shots! Kong will fight
three T-Rexes!”)

I am so glad John Miller wrote about Father Christmas and Narnia
today, because that was really bugging me, but I thought maybe I was
being a nit-picker. I am one of those people who like crossover
episodes of TV, like when the Fonz needed help from the Big Ragu in a
fight. But Santa seemed very out of place to me in a magical kingdom
where beavers talk. And why couldn’t his reindeer fly?

If you want a disappointing experience, convince your 7 and 12 year
old boys that the greatest movie in the world is “Planet of the Apes,”
then get it on DVD and show it to them. Yikes. Time has not been
kind. I think maybe when I saw it edited for TV in its day, they cut
out a lot of the windbaggy yakking. My elder son gave it a minus 5 on
the 1 to 10 scale. The little one was suitably freaked out by the
ending, however.

Damon to the Yankees. Not cool. Just not cool.

Merry Christmas to everyone! (At this point, you would normally say
Merry Christmas back. Then I would pause, think about whether it’s
worth the effort, and say “actually, we celebrate Hanukah.” Then you
start to apologize, and I have to stop you, say it’s fine, and what
I’m getting to is, here’s one vote for…) Happy Holidays!


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