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Dear Soft Thinkers of the Left



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I am going to save you some time.  You no longer need to email me every time I take some position in favor of the War on Terror , the invasions of Iraq or Afghanistan, or in fact any pro-military stance.  I now am completely and thoroughly informed that I am a chickenhawk, that it is “easy” to support a war when I don’t have to put on a uniform and fight, and that I am a coward who would only sacrifice other people’s loved ones.  And to save you further time, I am going to expose myself even more.  I am a hypocrite and chickenhawk in the War on Crime, as I continue to avoid donning a badge and a gun and busting down doors to catch bad guys, even though I support sending in real police to do the job.  I am a complete coward in the War on Fire, because I have never put on a yellow slicker and an oxygen mask to go stand on the front line in the battle against a burning building.  And that’s while completely admitting that I would be great at squirting the big hose.  Additionally, and this is a little painful, I am a loser, hypocrite, chickenhawk, and barely half a man in the War on Weeds.  I tried digging them out of my yard, but found I didn’t have what it takes, so now I sit in my comfy chair and watch while other people’s loved ones put themselves at risk.  I’m sorry.



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