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Lounge Act


JPod, please don’t mock John Edwards’ new mansion. Edwards Manor or Suing-‘em Palace or whatever it’s called could so easily have turned out like the two Americas: it was designed as two separate sections – a main wing and a subsidiary building which houses “John’s Lounge”. And yet the Democratic candidate managed to connect these two mansions with a $200,000 heated enclosed walkway lined with photographs of himself and his family.

Don’t you find that inspirational? Imagine if President Edwards were able to connect the two Americas with a heated enclosed walkway. Lined with photographs of himself. Including rear shots showing his angled nape.

The subsidiary building apparently has a “four-story tower”. Which is one story more than Edwards’ stump speech has. He’s got the story about his dad having to leave the restaurant in Robbins, North Carolina because he couldn’t afford anything on the menu, even though his dad was the mill’s production manager and the restaurant was designed to cater to mill workers. He’s got the story about the coatless girl going to bed hungry every night. He’s got a third Dickensian story about a guy somewhere in America whose factory is closing the very night of his speech.

And that’s it. So we’re all very excited to know what the fourth story walled up till now in the four-story tower is all about. Is it about a grimy urchin from the workhouse standing shivering outside the Ritz-Carlton in Washington in hopes that when Harry Reid tips his doorman with campaign contributions there’ll be a nickel left over for him? I can hardly wait.


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