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Vermont’s Most Wanted


I see my neighbors across the Connecticut River are bored with this impeachment shtick and have decided it’s easier just to arrest the Bush-Cheney gang:

A group in Brattleboro is petitioning to put an item on a town meeting agenda in March that would make Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney subject to arrest and indictment if they visit the southeastern Vermont community.

“This petition is as radical as the Declaration of Independence, and it draws on that tradition in claiming a universal jurisdiction when governments fail to do what they’re supposed to do,” said Kurt Daims, 54, a retired machinist leading the drive.

I have a soft spot for the Green Mountain State because I have many friends there, but I often find myself mulling over Howard Dean’s statement in the ‘04 campaign that “Vermont is the way America should be.” Thank God it isn’t. It has a European Union-level birthrate; schoolhouses are emptying up and down the state; and its marquee boutique brands’ Vermontiness is mostly honored in the breach: Ben & Jerry’s arthritic hippy-dippy peace-popsicles are a wholly-owned operating unit of the Anglo-Dutch multinational Unilever; and Vermont Castings wood stoves are made by CFM, which stands for Canadian Fireplace Manufacturers. And, unlike most Vermont main streets, Brattleboro’s can’t even manage to look quaint.

Still, if Vermont wants to make arresting the war-criminal-in-chief their priority, I say go for it. Let’s have raiding parties of 54-year old “retired” machinists swooping down on Bush in lightning cross-border raids if he’s foolish enough to risk appearing in Keene, New Hampshire.

By the way, any Green Mountain boys wearying of their granola-high neighbors might like to escape for a couple of hours and join me, Jonah Goldberg and Rob Long in Manchester, NH this coming Saturday. We promise some mean-spirited Dean gags for any Vermonters in the crowd.   


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