Re: Sanford

by Dana M. Perino

As I sit here tonight, I’ve got one question — and it’s got nothing to do with employer mandates and government plans. My question is this: Is there a contest amongst philanderers to one-up each other in weird and, unfortunately, all-too-true stories about their infidelity?

I mean, even when Senator Ensign made his announcement last week, there wasn’t much of a ripple. Blah, blah, blah — a married and elected politician having an affair with a campaign staffer — who just so happens to be married to the politician’s chief of staff . . . and then said chief of staff tried to extort money off of said politician, yada yada yada. That is so yesterday . . . that’s so . . . John Edwards. Ho hum, how boring.

Now we have a real doozy — another promising politician, he, too, with a full head of hair, white smile, and nice family, in the most bizarre scandal to date. Ditching his detail, flying to the southern hemisphere for an assignation, while his staff told reporters that he was . . . hiking . . . the Appalachian trail? Say what? I’d like to have been in the room when the spokesperson drew straws to determine who was going to go out an explain that whopper. Had they not seen the e-mails the media now has posted for all to see? Do any of these characters — and I use the term loosely — think of what their wives and children are going to go through? Do they really think they’re going to get away with all of this?

You really can not make this stuff up. It’s like the stuff of Danielle Steele novels has turned into reality. Next fall’s TV season can feature a new show: “I’m a Politician’s Wife — Get Me Out of Here!”

I wonder how the next one — and there will be a next one — will top Governor Sanford’s story. Perhaps a tryst at the international space station, with the obligatory press conference upon return, but maybe this time with an alien by his side?

If the constant stream of these confessions by unfaithful husbands is any guide, we’ll be treated to more and more of these stories. I saw today a reporter write that citizens don’t trust the GOP because they see them as hypocrites in their personal lives. But as the last few of these have been revealed — does anyone remember client number 9 — there’s one common denominator, and it’s not partisan. It’s a chromosome named Y. Why? Could someone please explain?

While I am not able to explain, I do think I know the answer to all of this: Elect more women. No woman I know has the time for such trysts, nor do I know any who say the desire one. They’re too busy trying to keep all the plates spinning at home, at work, and at the gym to make sure none fall and break.

Still, many of them are left with broken hearts. What a sad state of affairs.

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