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The Corner

The one and only.

John Hughes, Conservative



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A reader e-mails the following to make the case:
        

                      FERRIS
               My uncle went to Canada to protest
               the war, right? On the Fourth of
               July he was down with my aunt and he
               got drunk and told my Dad he felt
               guilty he didn’t fight in Viet Nam.
               So I said, “What’s the deal, Uncle
               Jeff? In wartime you want to be a
               pacifist and in peacetime you want
               to be a soldier. It took you twenty
               years to find out you don’t believe
               in anything?”
                          (snaps his fingers)
               Grounded. Just like that. Two weeks.
                          (pause)
               Be careful when you deal with old
               hippies. They can be real touchy.

——
 
CU. HUMAN FETUS IN A BOTTLE

     The famous stages of life display which features bottled
     fetuses. The ninth month. A tiny human being in a jar.

     CU. SLOANE, FERRIS, CAMERON

     Sloane wants to cry. Cameron’s stomach is in his throat.
     Ferris is lost in thought. The MUSIC ENDS.

                              SLOANE
                          (remorsefully)
               I wonder if he has a name?

                              FERRIS
                          (blank)
               Ninth Month.
 
——–
 
                              FERRIS
               So, Yuri, how long have you been
               in America?

                              DRIVER
               One year.

                              FERRIS
               What’s your overall impression?

                              DRIVER
               It’s very good here.

                              FERRIS
               Better than Russia?

                              DRIVER
               Much better here than in Russia.

                              FERRIS
               Clearly you’ve never been to an
               American high school.



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