The Corner

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What Is Monogamy?


One more e-mail on that polyamory piece, which is spot-on, and probably speaks to what’s at the heart of a great deal of our problems in matters of love and marriage:

Subject: the basic principle of monogamy that one person will meet all of another’s needs in an intimate relationship

I think this assertion says a lot about the author making the claim, and nothing about monogamy.   Monogamy makes no promises about fulfilling all your needs.  It’s about making sure that the resources you and your children need aren’t diverted to someone else’s kids.   No human relationship will ever meet all your needs.  Perhaps that’s the fundamental fallacy.  But certainly if you can’t pick one person who makes you a happier person, you are really unlikely to pick two.