Carry-On Alligator Bag Kills 20

by Jonah Goldberg

Okay crocodile bag. But otherwise: really:

Aircraft crashes after crocodile on board escapes and sparks panic

A small airliner crashed into a house, killing a British pilot and 19 others after a crocodile smuggled into the aircraft in a sports bag escaped and started a panic.

The plane came down despite no apparent mechanical problems during an internal flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo.It has now emerged that the crash was caused by the concealed reptile escaping and causing a stampede in the cabin, throwing the aircraft off-balance.