Tales From the Homefront

by Jonah Goldberg

Okay so Cosmo the Wonderdog went to the vet last week. They said he tested positive for lyme disease antibodies. That doesn’t mean he has lyme disease though. In order to verify whether he does or not the vet told us we need a … urine sample.

This has proved to be a very difficult undertaking. Because Cosmo is a normal, well-adjusted, guy he doesn’t really cotton to people lunging at his business with a plastic cup while he’s relieving himself at a tree.

And, while my love for my canine wing man is boundless, I’m not exactly thrilled by the task at hand.

Guidance welcome.

Update: Thanks for all the email already. What a world. I write some 1,000+ words on Woodrow Wilson and I get three emails over 12 hours. I ask for help on canine urine retrieval and I get 30 inside of five minutes.

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