Obama Grants Second Pardon

by Brian Bolduc

At 10:30 a.m., President Obama — after a suspense-filled, potentially carnivorous encounter with a turkey in the Rose Garden — will pardon the bird and its alternate in his usual magnanimity.

The 21-week-old, 45-pound fowl, named Apple and Cider respectively, got their monikers from California school children, who submitted over 200 suggestions to their state’s “Agriculture in the Classroom” program. The birdies were raised on Foster Farms Wellsford Ranch near Modesto, California under the caring eye of National Turkey Federation Chairman Yubert Envia.

Our fine-feathered friends’ time on the dole has only just begun. Once they receive their pardon, the birds will settle in at George Washington’s Mount Vernon Estate and Gardens, where they will strut their stuff for visitors through January 6. Afterward, they will pass the rest of their days in a “custom-made enclosure” at Mount Vernon’s livestock facility.

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