Sure, Iowahawk can be gross and in dire taste … but there are also other reasons why you should read him — his perfect-pitch ear for bubblehead political blather, for instance.

Here he is on form with Joe Biden preparing to jump the Grand Canyon by high-speed rail. (WARNING: Accurate Bidenesque diction necessarily includes some taboo words.)

“For too long we’ve stayed on the sidelines and watched the rest of the world eat our lunch in the high speed passenger train game,” he said. “Well, let me tell you something Mister and Mrs. John Q. America, we’ve had our Sputnik moment wake up call and we’ve stopped hitting the snooze button. When I go flying up that ramp and across that canyon on March 6, dangerous crosswinds permitting, it will send a message loud and clear to the Japanese and Uzbeks and Cameroons — it is on, amigo.”