Conscientious Objection

by David Kahane

A lot of you morons are beside yourselves with “outrage” over the actions of the lamister Democrats of Wisconsin and Indiana, scooting off to Illinois rather than discharge their constitutional duty to, you know, show up for work and take their lumps like a metrosexual.  


It’s obvious to me that none of you has ever read Thoreau’s essay “Civil Disobedience,” which was one of the sacred texts of my father’s youth and which I was forced to memorize as a child, reciting it at cell meetings and dinner parties just before we all joined in singing “The Internationale.”

Yes, like all good sixties radicals, the sainted “Che” Kahane was raised to believe that there is nothing more important, no higher moral calling, than Sticking It to the Man. And Thoreau was their Virgil, guiding them past the shoals of accommodationist danger in the Inferno that was Nixon’s Amerikkka. 

Back then, they defined the Man as, basically, the head of the local draft board, as well as campus narcs, snitches, and other fun-spoilers, but now we’ve come to understand that you are the Man Thoreau was talking about. Naturally, we’ve had to make some peace with the fact that you devils have co-opted the famous opening:

I heartily accept the motto, “That government is best which governs least”; and I should like to see it acted up to more rapidly and systematically.  

But what’s your answer to this?

. . . a government in which the majority rule in all cases can not be based on justice, even as far as men understand it. Can there not be a government in which the majorities do not virtually decide right and wrong, but conscience? — in which majorities decide only those questions to which the rule of expediency is applicable? Must the citizen ever for a moment, or in the least degree, resign his conscience to the legislator? Why has every man a conscience then? 

In other words, we men of the Left answer to a higher power than your mere laws. Especially when we’re on the losing side. So come, sing along with me. You know you want to:


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