Great opening sentences:
Al-Qaeda has launched a women’s magazine that mixes beauty and fashion tips with advice on suicide bombings.
Seriously. What else is in there?
Readers are told it is their duty to raise children to be mujahideen ready for jihad.
And the ‘beauty column’ instructs women to stay indoors with their faces covered to keep a ‘clear complexion’.
They should ‘not go out except when necessary’.
You can have it all! It’s like Cosmo for Waziristan.
Still, what with the collapse of American newspapering, I thought I might as well submit a possible cover story, “Ten Ways To Drive Him Wild In The Bedroom”:
Number One: Say “Darling, I thought I’d borrow the car today.”
The magazine is delivered to your house shrink-wrapped, just like the women.
Al-Qaeda. It's not just for sexually repressed, death worshipping, religiously fanatical men anymore. It's also for the women that lov...uh...FEAR them!!!
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseNumber Two: Have a tan line. Anywhere.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseSteyn, you are awesome. Glad you're posting again.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseThis is an early April Fool joke.
Right?
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseHow to drive him wild in the bedroom #2
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseSing:
I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan
and never never never never let you forget you're a man
They hit on a great marketing scheme.
Every man will have to buy a copy for each of his wives thus the average household will have four subscriptions.
Watch for the New York Times to editorialize for sharia law.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseFashion tips for suicide vests...because our chicks are da bomb!
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseHaha, well said Funeral Guy!
This can't be real, can it? I mean, this sounds like an SNL sketch.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseI can see the readership of "Playboy" and "Penthouse" plummeting now that this racy, new entry is in the marketplace!
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseGotta make sure you keep your face is covered so you keep that "clear complexion". Really?
And Mr. Steyn, you've been missed. So glad to see you back.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseOh my! It's not parody. Until I clicked the link and read the article, I really assumed it was parody.
Just like leftists, the Islamists are so ridiculous on their own they are beyond parody.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseSo glad to see you back, Mark Steyn! You were greatly missed! Welcome back!
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseIf they went outdoors, their complexions might be marred by something thrown at them.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseWow. Add some articles about bombing abortion clinics and teaching your kids to beat up gays and Pat Robertson is in!
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseMyKu:
You'll look fabulous
Reply to this commentLinkReport Abusewearing this Gucci backpack
when your bomb goes off.
@hughman -- comparing ackees and oranges.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseModern society seems to have become a race between the satirists mocking trends in the world and the nuttiness of those who are making the mocking a reality. The idea of a "Beauty tips and jihad" magazine would be such a perfect Steyn column that I have a hard time believing this is real. And yet, al-Qeada is just crazy enough that they might do it.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseTo answer some questions: yes, this is real. It was reported on in The Daily Mail, UK---which is where Steyn's link will take you.
Folks, Europe is DYING. Mark is simply reporting on the death throes. You can laugh, or cry. He chooses to laugh.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseMark. I've also missed your rapier-like witty comments. Welcome back!
Reply to this commentLinkReport Abuse"Thank heavens for little girls - they blow up in the most delightful way!"
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