Media Matters Mutters, and Having Muttered, Moves

by David Kahane

I doubt you wingnuts spend much time over at Media Matters for America, the George Soros–funded website that gives gainful employment to a variety of hacks and non-entities in perpetual high dudgeon, busily engaged in the practice of monitoring media that matters for America. It’s a kind of charity, really, a place for those who might not otherwise find gainful employment either as real journalists or as Democrat state senators in Wisconsin to find some meaning in their lives — which they do by hating you.

Warning: Reading anything on the MMFA website is a little like watching semi-literate chimps busily engaged in a poo-flinging contest hosted by Fox News, but we liberals are nothing if not compassionate, and the poor “senior fellows” and lesser primates who have to type this stuff are our fellow human beings, more or less.

So imagine my surprise when I, me and myself turned up as the subject of some Media Matters muttering, occasioned by one of the pearls I throw before you swine every week in my continuing effort to get you rapacious, Wall Street–loving, troglodytic, racist Rethuglican hatemongers to understand us fair and tolerant lefties better, so we can all just get along until that happy day when we can finally get rid of you with legal impunity.

Here’s someone named Jameson Poser, writing about my recent modest proposal:

I can’t imagine the thought process that led National Review to post this garbage on its website’s home page:

There follows a perfectly unobjectionable illustration of the Emperor Hussein wearing a crown. But to better assist the author of this piece of searing media-mattering criticism, Tyrconnell Foster, let me provide Hussein’s full title: His Serene Majesty the Emperor Barack Hussein Obama II, Lord of the Flies, Keeper of the Hoops, Master of the Greens and Protector of the Holy Cities of Honolulu and Chicago.

At least Bushmill Noser is right about one thing: he can’t imagine a thought process.

Believe it or not, the actual column is worse: At one point, David Kahan refers to President Obama simply as “Hussein” and suggests that if Obama loses re-election, he’ll “call out every union thug and goon in these United States to occupy the Capitol, shred the drapery, steal the silver, and molest the servants.” And he calls First Lady Michelle Obama fat:

Thankfully, it’s not like “Hussein” is really his middle name or anything. And no, I did not say the First Lady was fat. I simply said that she would have a good shot at fitting into Queen Kapiolani’s muumuus if she keeps up her short-ribs diet. You know me, always trying to help.

And now for Jamison Foser’s peroration:

Remember, National Review is supposedly a bastion of respectable, intellectual conservative thought.

It is? Who knew? “David Kahan” is rendered spellbound at the bang for the buck György Schwartz is getting for his money.

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