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The Nanny State in Your Diaper

A 28-year old Yemeni man boards a flight to San Francisco in Chicago, and shortly before landing charges the cockpit while shouting “Allahu Akbar!” Authorities say they “do not yet have a motive.”

Hmm.

Fortunately, passengers and flight attendants were able to subdue Mister Motiveless, given that America’s bazillion-dollar security apparatus was tied up by a critical Code Red alert in Kansas City.

Pace the president, Americans enjoy the best of both worlds: Open borders with foreign states, but a moat with alligators for internal travel.

New on The Corner. . .


COMMENTS   16

EXPAND  

   05/10/11 17:47

Mark,
Perhaps we should take him up on that offer as he's so opposed to fencing. But when you think about it a moat is much more environmentally friendly. I am an Arizona native, but if importing alligators will get the President's ok, I'm ALL for it!

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Larry Brown
   05/10/11 17:48

Question: Since when did everyone start adding a "U" after "Allah?" I first heard this iteration after the Ft. Hood shootings, but not before. When the first Afghan war was going on, it seemed like the cry was always "Allah Akbar!" when they shot off their stinger missiles at Soviet aircraft.

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   05/10/11 17:58

Somewhere in my blog travels today I saw pics of an infant held prone by its mother as a couple TSA alligators frisked it for weapons or explosives, presumably. Horrible, and yet..

On a recent flight from Raleigh RDU to Detroit, there was a 5 month old baby across the aisle one row up, and I did not like the looks of him, no sir, nary one bit. He had a sneaky look, and appeared to be monitoring the positions of the crew at all times. He babbled, as babies will, and some of it sounded vaguely Persian. Worse still was a very suspicious lump in his diaper that apparently got through the TSA search untouched.

I remained vigilant and perhaps he noticed and aborted his evil plan, if terrorist he was, for he never did rush the cockpit. There's a fine line between ah-goo ga-ga and alihu akbar. Lucky for this kid he didn't cross it or I'd've been on him like ugly on an ape.

Don't thank me, America. It's who I am. It's how I roll.

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   05/10/11 18:07

Henry Hawkins - I sleep more soundly at night due to Americans such as you! Thank You. Heroic and Satiric - my favorite kind of person.

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   05/10/11 19:18

Change that to satyric, and I'm your boy.

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Hmastercylinder
   05/10/11 19:57

Mr Henry Hawkins, you are a frikkin' genius. To come up with something in a Mark Steyn comment thread that beats out Steyn himself is a rare treat! Having once obtained a copy of one of Mark's books by being the sage of the day, or whatever he calls it when you send a cogent email to him (which book came, oddly enough, on my birthday, signed and all), I appreciate the effort, and especially the results. I haven't laughed so hard in ages. There is not much going on in the world that amuses me, these days. But, mere vulgar Americans though we may be, I think, with the right attitude, in the true spirit of the Light Brigade, et al, we can certainly outdo those musicians on the Titanic, before we're through.
Cheers!

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Hilary
   05/10/11 20:22
sombreros divertidos
   05/10/11 20:42

Larry Brown,

Re your question below on the "u" variously seen and not seen in "Allahu Akbar"

It has to do with Arabic grammar and writing and the inexactitude of transliteration into English. Those two words are actually a full sentence "God is greater" even though the only words are "God" and "greater." The verb "to be" (that is "is" in this case) is not necessary. "Me Tarzan. You Jane. God Greater" - that's good grammar in Arabic.

If you want to get more technical, "Allah Akbar" could be said to be three words since "Allah" (which we translate as "God") actually is the word for "a god" with the definite article "al" affixed in front to make it not just "a god" but "The God." That definite article "al" is affixed right onto words with no space between and in pronunciation is integral to the word such that in many cases, depending on the fist consonant of the word it's affixed to, the "l" sound in "al" is elided and the first consonant of the word it's affixed to is doubled; thus we get words like "althani" transliterated like that and like this "ath-thani" - the first transliteration is more in line with what's actually written and the second more in line with how it would be pronounced.

Anyway, the actual characters you'd see written in Arabic, wouldn't include all the vowel sounds. In general, Arabic writing doesn't need and doesn't include the short vowels. Marks for these vowels do exist and can be included as what might look to you like superscript and subscript marks. For language references and pedagogy, and supposedly holy stuff like the the Koran, you see all the vowel marks included. For general reading and writing, you don't.

So in Arabic script the actual written characters you'd see for "Allahu Akbar" would be more like this: "allh akbr" (there are no capital letters in Arabic either). But it would be pronounced more like "allahu akbar" if someone were being precise in their pronunciation and putting that "damma" (that's the Arabic name of that "u" sounding vowel at the end of Allah)sound at the end, indicating that the word is in nominative case (because it's the subject) and it is definate (by virtue of having the definite article "al")

So you see, it's all very simple.

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   05/10/11 20:56

My reaction the the (very well-organized and instructive) primer by "enjoyable hats" on the Arabic language:
No Wonder They're All Crazy.

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   05/11/11 02:18

My reaction to this piece is a rethinking of political correctness and multiculturalism and their possible uses in the present sans-Islamic "terror" context.

What if the left is adapting political correctness and multiculturalism in order to lump "anti-state" or "anti-government" types (you have to love the sudden inexplicable appearance of these descriptors in a baffling variety of stories on international uprisings; as if fighting for liberation and fighting for sharia were equivalent) in with pro-sharia ne'erdowells.

Multiculturalism means we are all culturally equal, America being cast backwards over a millenium by revisionist decree. Environmentalism means we are all equally guilty and sinful, even if we don't happen to believe in God (a god-like state, now that's something the left intends to prove). While political correctness means we don't have the right to object to such demeaning defamation.

I'm not exactly sure what kind of mind-schlepp the left is trying to pull, but whatever it is, you can bet freedom-loving American citizens are the ultimate targets, not bomb-belt strapping would-be martyrs (or should I write, victims?).

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Bart Hall (Kansas, USA)
   05/11/11 07:55

Mark -- I'm astounded you missed (or rejected) the best possible headline: **The Nanny in your Nappy**. Let the Yanks figure it out. Everyone else in the English-speaking world calls it a nappy, along with those of us here in the States who've spent even a bit of time elsewhere in the Anglosphere. Speaking of which, my 3-month-old daughter is telling me to get after hers.

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Miky
   05/11/11 08:39

Motive: Late for dinner reservation at a new Hawaiian-themed seafood restaurant featuring an extensive collection of birds of prey taxidermy. "Oahu Hawk Bar". Suspect swears their "cod is great!"

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   05/11/11 09:13

Sincere thanks to jgilliece, Hmastercylinder, and Hilary.

I know (of) Mark Steyn, and I, sir, am no Mark Steyn.

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   05/11/11 09:21

Henry, I noticed the conspicuous absence of the infant's drivers license details in your diaper profiling. Do you have an explanation for this piece of yellow journalism?

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   05/11/11 16:56

Um, er... I'm not a journalist, I'm a commentator. Yeah. That's the ticket.

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Doctor of Electricity
   05/11/11 19:27

Why do we continue to translate “Allahu Akbar!" as "God is greatest"?
The proper meaning is "Allah is the greatest",(as contradistinguished to your god). My dad can beat up your dad.

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