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Kill the Wabbit Act

I’ve been writing this weekend about a once free people’s descent into hyper-regulatory tyranny. I thought this fishy footnote was the last word in statism’s lack of any sense of proportion, but several readers then alerted me to the federal rabbit police cracking down on magic shows. As they used to say in Nazi Germany, “Your papers, mein hare!”

When the brokest nation in history still thinks it can afford to send federal investigators snooping through the back yards of children’s magicians on the off-chance they might be using rabbits on stage, you’ve got to conclude it actively wants to die. I was going to say something about “lemming-like behavior” but I don’t want any trouble from the USDA lemming inspectors.

If federal agents are so interested in magic acts, they might like to try dressing up the budget in a basque and spangled tights and sawing it in half.

New on The Corner. . .


COMMENTS   27

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   05/30/11 06:32

I am a newly former regulator of the self-regulatory variety. There is no off switch and it would be unethical to even think of an off switch. I couldn't stomach the ridiculous side of regulation any more. You should be vewy, vewy afwaid of regulators who now officially introduce concepts like environmental, social, or [fill in the blank for your own federal agency] justice.

BTW, self-regulators are regulated by the feds too and are charged with the extremes that the feds are too squeamish about to carry out themselves.

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   05/30/11 08:04

How did we come to the point where I am paying someone to harass a magician for having a bunny?

I don't want to sound too much like Ron Paul, but where in the Constitution did We the People bestow the power upon the Federal Government to do this?

Would it require a constitutional amendment to prevent this?

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John Chittick
   05/30/11 11:09

we arrived here because too many Americans say: "I don't want to sound too much like Ron Paul, but ...."

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   05/30/11 08:13

I understand that the Federal government also regulates the size of the holes in our "Swiss" cheese.
There is nothing too small to escape the notice of federal bureaucrats.

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   05/30/11 09:04

And what's so funny, that inspector got back to the office and wrote in her monthly report:

Inspected 5 egg ranches.
Inspected 10 cattle ranches.
Brought 2 magicians into compliance with rabbit licensing regulations.

And her boss never blinked an eye. That boss' boss never blinked and eye. And the head of the agency never blinked an eye.

They all said, "Good work, agent."

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   05/30/11 09:27

" . . . you’ve got to conclude it actively wants to die."

Haunting words, Mark, and particularly depressing on Memorial Day, but they need to be said.

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   05/30/11 09:31

It will be interesting to see who actively dies first--Canada or the U.S.

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Bruce Armstrong
   05/30/11 09:35

It must be pointed out: The stories of federal bureaucratic rabbit overreach occurred during the *Bush* administration! If a so-called "free market" administration cracks down on the use of rabbits, imagine what a "mother hen" administration like Obama's can (or rather, will continue) to do!

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   05/30/11 10:07

Don't forget the famous case of the landowner cited by the EPA for an unapproved dam on his property - - constructed by beavers!

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   05/30/11 10:31

I checked the internet, Snopes.com, The Onion and every other source I could to disprove this absolutely silly story. I could not find a single source that refutes the account of the Rabbit Police. But I still don't believe it. I can't believe it. It's impossible for any government to be that stupid. Right?

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Another Anon
   05/31/11 14:00

As two related axioms go (one by Einstein, the other by Hanlon), the government can be that stupid.

Don't rule out actual malice, though.

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jjv1
   05/30/11 11:13

Can't the good magicians make the rabbits dissapear? "Hey Rocky..."

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   05/30/11 11:44

Regulatory bureaucracy attracts the type that ran the totalitarian machinery in Soviet Russia and Communist East Germany - the snoops, petty tyrants and smug moralizers along with a sprinkling of outright sadists.

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   05/30/11 11:46

The federal bureaucracy is full of bureaucrats. That's what they do, that's what the idiots in Congress have created when they pass laws that leave it up to bureaucrats in the bureaucracy to develop and enforce rules.

Now one thing a bureaucrat in a bureaucracy does not want to do is to have statis. There are always new rules to write, new frontiers to conquer into compliance. 10 parts per billion arsenic in water would potentially create 5 deaths in America (so sayeth the model)? Well then, we must pass a rule that says it must be within 5 parts per billion. It matters not that arsenic appears naturally in many natural water systems at levels much higher. We must comply.

The federal bureaucracy with it's petty little martinets are a collective hive mind like the Borg. We must all be assimilated and resistance is futile.

Or is it.......

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 GWB
   05/30/11 13:16

All of this is a blatant violation of the commerce clause, not to mention federalism.

Hey, Republicans! You want to cut the budget? Start places like this. Simply remove this section of the USDA and save a million or two. Do this all over the government. Pretty soon, you'll have some real money saved.

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   05/30/11 13:54

C'mon. It's is perfectly appropriate that someone insure that animals are not abused. Too many conservatives, for some reason, don't seem to care about animals.

I'm a conservative who does; I desire that all animals be treated kindly, even food animals. It lessens the stature of us all if we allow animal abuse to occur, and do nothing about it.

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tommyz88
   05/30/11 14:25

I agree about the caring for animals stuff, but there's a big difference between caring, and shifting control to a regulatory agency. It's not any law that stops bad behavior - it simply punishes it, and does so in a relatively inefficient and haphazard manner at best. If we start relying on laws and regulations for even the most minor infractions (particularly as overseen by federal government agencies) to provide us with a moral society we are in big trouble.

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 GWB
   05/30/11 15:32

Oh, c'mon, yourself. This isn't about abusing animals, and you know it. This is about the interference of the FEDERAL government into decidedly NON-federal areas of our lives.

You want the bunnies to live happy, non-exploited lives, with OSHA-like rules for their performances? Fine, pass local legislation that does this kind of ridiculous c*ap. Then we can all avoid your neck of the woods.

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   05/30/11 16:52

Scottfs - Surely you jest? This regulation really has nothing to do with insuring the health and welfare of rabbits. After all, if you read the story the little USDA goose stepper admitted that she was perfectly fine if the guy feed the rabbit to a pet snake, no permit needed there.

No, this is about an overreaching bureaucracy that sees no proper limit to how far the state should intrude into in the lives of ordinary citizens. Obviously the lady at the USDA has made this a personal crusade, ferreting out unlicensed magicians who use rabbits in their stage routine. For what reason I haven't a clue, perhaps the poor woman has some sort of fetish. But whatever the reason, of all the valid tasks on the USDA's list, can you imagine that catching unlicensed magicians should be high on their priorities? Does anyone believe that in a era of $1.6T deficits and a $14T national debt that one taxpayer dollar should be spent on this nonsense?

This is a rot in our democracy and of out rule of law. No doubt this licensing business isn't even a matter of legislation, it's some rule written by a nameless, faceless, unaccountable bureaucrat. Our freedoms are suffering a death of a thousand (more likely a million) cuts at the hands of these bureaucrats.

Today is memorial day. Think of our fallen solders who gave their lives for this county. Can you imagine that any of them died so that this twit from the USDA could go around harassing magicians and their rabbits?

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   05/31/11 06:09

OF course, this is just another brilliant idea imported from Europe, the land of enlightened regulatory regimes.

How do I know? Simple--and you ALL know if you think about it for a moment. It is, admittedly, about another small furry animal and not a rabbit exactly....but still:

External Link 

Eeef...er, I mean, IF an Inspector can ask a beggar for a lisaaaahnce for his minkie, why not a magician for his rabbit?

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