
When I lived in New York and Philadelphia, I was cautious about publicly disciplining my children, since I knew mothers in liberal northeastern cities differed greatly with my approach. For example, I once was chided by a mom in a library for getting on to my daughter for wandering off while I was trying to check out her books.
“You get back over here,” I said quietly, and my daughter began to throw a bit of a fit. In my urgency to avoid a public confrontation, I lapsed into the very unoriginal but still effective, “Keep it up, and I’ll really give you something to cry about!”
Another mom, ever so gently, pulled me aside. “You know, you really needn’t be so sharp with her,” she said. “The girl is obviously just trying to read books, and you will intellectually stunt her.”
The only thing I was trying to stunt was her defiance of basic instruction — a battle I fight with all three of my children. My insistence that my kids actually obey me put me at odds with friends who laughed when they saw me correct the kids at the playground. My friend Rene once said memorably, “I don’t use the word ‘obey’ with my kids, because it sounds so … Biblical.”
Incredulous, I asked her, “What do you do with the speed limit?”
I thought of these incidents over the weekend when a Drudge headline caught my eye. Apparently, a mother was convicted of a felony for what the prosecution called a “pretty simple, straightforward spanking case.” A belt wasn’t used, and no bruising occurred.
Where did this mother live? Berkeley? Manhattan? No, Rosalina Gonzales lives in Corpus Christi, Texas, where, by the way, it’s still legal to spank your children.
The Texas law states “Abuse does not include reasonable discipline by a parent/guardian/managing or possessory conservator if child is not exposed to substantial risk of harm. … Parent/stepparent/person standing in loco parentis to child is justified to use non-deadly force against a child under 18 when and to degree the actor reasonably believes necessary to discipline, or safeguard or promote child’s welfare.”
Nevertheless, Judge Longoria shamed the mother about her discipline before sentencing her to five years probation, a fine, and parenting classes.
“You don’t spank children today. In the old days, maybe we got spanked, but there was a different quarrel,” he scolded. “You don’t spank children. You understand?”
This “legislating from the bench” makes me wonder if the worst problem Texas faces is an excess of parents trying to teach their kids how to behave.
As the mother of a toddler, I think it’s important for moms to come forward and quit being afraid of discipline that’s been tested by time. Moms tend to keep this a private matter, to avoid conflict or hard discussions with other parents. However, the Gonzales case should cause us to speak out in protest of an overreaching court.
That’s why I’m saying that I’ve spanked all three of my kids, and they aren’t raised yet. Spanking is far less emotionally manipulative than twenty nagging reprimands, it’s fast, and it’s certainly effective. And by the way, it’s legal.
So, Judge Longoria, come and get me.
— Nancy French is the co-author of Bristol Palin’s Not Afraid of Life and the upcoming Home and Away: A Story of Family in a Time of War.
This all stems back to Dr. Spock. "Spare the rod, Spoil the Child" I think my grandmother considered him one of the most destructive influences of the 20th century. The indulgence of children's every whim was the direct cause of the "Me" generation; selfishness without bounds, unchecked by proper discipline.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseLooking forward to the appeal on this one. Wonder what the appellate court will say about what looks like a clear cut disregard for the law by Judge Longoria.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseYou do realize that she plead guilty, right?
While there are some issues available for appeal after a guilty plea, like the propriety of the sentences for instance, the avenues for appeal after a guilty plea are significantly reduced in comparison to those who are found guilty by a jury or judge.
Unless she can demonstrate that the plea agreement was coerced, or that the sentence was somehow extraordinary and unjustified, or that her constitutional rights were somehow violated in her arrest or prosecution, then her chances of prevailing on appeal are slim.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseOr, it could be that the social worker and the judge threatened her to such an extent that she felt she had no choice. Some of the most tyrranical folks in existence are in Child Protective Services (or whatever the name is where you live).
(And, yes, there is more to the story than we have read, so far. My reply is to the assumption, not the individual facts.)
Reply to this commentLinkReport Abuse"Or, it could be that the social worker and the judge threatened her to such an extent that she felt she had no choice"
First, judges don't "threaten" defendants into taking plea arrangements. That's not how plea arrangements are negotiated, at least not in this country.
Second, prosecutors however, "threaten" defendants all the time. That's their job. They offer a choice, accept a plea or face the worst at trial. That however, is not "coercion" under the law.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseWhy do we need to extend parent's insurance coverage till 26?
Infantile treatment of kids during their formative years that retards maturation until the late 20s.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseWhile I support your right to spank your children, I'm personally not so thrilled with the practice. More than anything else, I think it teaches children that "might makes right". They see that they have to listen to you because you are bigger and stronger- not because you have moral authority.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseIn her example(s) she has the moral authority -- and the kid(s) know it.
She is using corporal punishment to get the children's attention.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseI said the same thing at the Waters of Meribah, but He wouldn't listen to reason.
Reply to this commentLinkReport Abuse-Moses
RE: "More than anything else, I think it teaches children that 'might makes right'."
More than anything else, it taught my six year old son (he's 14 now) that if he plays with matches again on my watch, I'll put him through a wall.
If you would guess, "problem solved," you'd be mighty right.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseThe children have to listen to you because you are both bigger and stronger and have moral authority. Strength without moral authority is tyranny, but moral authority without strength is impotent and can be ignored. Today's ill-disciplined children know this all to well.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseEvery animal that raises its young uses negative reinforcement (pain) to teach them how to behave.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseYou go girl. Glad to see some modern mothers have survived the PC-tripe about not spanking children. There is a right way and a wrong way, but no way just doesn't get it.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseIs there another planet that can be quickly outfitted to accommodate people for whom this planet is becoming insufferable? The daily insanity is mounting like the soundtrack from Jaws.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseSuch a diverse set of results when you Google "spanking Longoria".
Anyway, here's hoping that judge gets embarrassed on appeal...just like Sumi.
I reserve the right to spank my children. I have done it and I most likely will have to do it again. My kids are my responsibility. Mind your beeswax.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseCheers to you, Nancy! You make the case well, and you are absolutely correct about spanking, as any parent who has properly used the method knows. Giving up spanking is a license to making children disobedient, selfish and spoiled.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseI love it! The CAPTCHA for my reply is "touchy-feely"
Do we even know there will be an appeal? As others around here have said, this is how we lose our rights. People don't have the time or money to appeal.
If anyone on NRO hears of a legal-fund set up I will certainly through in a few bucks.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseI wondered if there wasn't more to it than just preaching from the bench, so I emailed the district attorney's office asking that if it was just a simple spanking, why the prosecution? They wrote back with the following statement:
"The case involved a not yet 2 yr old baby who was taken to grandma’s home with bruises covering her rear end and lower back.
The Grandma called EMS and baby was transported to Driscoll Children’s Hospital. The “care-team” became involved and found
the injuries were intentional, non-accidental injuries. The police were then called. The mother ultimately admitted the assault.
Child Protective Service was already involved with the woman and her 2 older children, and we felt that the criminal justice system
now needed to be involved. The Grand Jury returned a “true bill” on the indictment."
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseSo in other words, a media outlet sensationalized the story to increase viewership. Why am I not surprised?
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseThe judge's statements are a general condemnation on all spanking, not just the specifics of this case.
Reply to this commentLinkReport Abuse