
Hollywood’s newest offering is a film version of the iconic 1980s television show, which ran for nine years on NBC. The little blue guys — and one girl! — are back.
And guess what? They are no longer Commu-Smurfs.
You didn’t have to be Joseph McCarthy to see the red undertones of the blue Smurf society. In Evan Topham’s popular YouTube video, along with countless internet conspiracy essays, the case for Smurf Communism has been firmly established. First, all Smurfs were forced to wear the same uniform: white poofy hats, white pants with a hole to accommodate tails, and white shoes. (Smurfette was allowed a white dress, but was never allowed any deviation in her uniform.) Secondly, the Smurfs only had one role in life and were named according to their profession: Poet Smurf had to write all of the poems, Handy Smurf had to fix all of the broken items, Baker Smurf had to create sugary confections for every Smurf’s consumption. No one was allowed to perform multiple roles in society. Once, Vanity Smurf tried to switch things around and paint, however, and Poet Smurf put down his quill and tried to build things. The disastrous consequences sent a clear message to Smurf society: stick to your job assignment and don’t ask any questions.
Further to the point, no single individual Smurf profited from his giftings but rather worked for the common good. Farmer Smurf, for example, didn’t sell his crops to individuals at a fair market value. Instead, he grew provisions for everyone, distributed equally to each Smurf throughout the year from their storage in the communal mushroom-shaped huts. When the Smurfs had a drought, they found the one smurf who was hoarding more than his fair share of smurfberries and beat him with a board from his floor.
Wise old Papa Smurf differentiated himself by wearing a red hat and pants (obviously a representation of his communist sympathies) and white facial hair (an homage to the “grandfather of communism” Karl Marx). His arch-enemy was a perverse representation of capitalism, the evil greedy Gargamel, only interested in increasing his own personal wealth by capturing the Smurfs and turning them into gold.
The Washington Times asks the question:
Pop quiz: Who uttered the famous maxim, “From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs?”
A) Karl Marx
B) Papa Smurf
C) Both A and B
The chilling answer, Smurf fans, is “C.”
To make matters worse, the Smurfs have a mind-controlling la-la-la-la-la-la song, and constantly replace everyday nouns and verbs with the word “smurf,” which, according to the Washington Times, creates a “a dumbed-down, thought-controlling Newspeak lexicon to rival that of the totalitarian state in George Orwell’s ‘1984.’”
With new movie, however, come indications that the Smurfs seem to have given up on their communistic ways. On Friday, the financial markets grew increasingly anxious as the U.S. edged closer to defaulting on its debt. However, Papa Smurf showed up at the New York Stock Exchange to encourage the traders by ringing the ceremonial opening bell.
Friday also happened to be the opening day of their new movie, Smurfs 3D, which further demonstrates this philosophical shift. The blue creatures are taken from their bucolic village and put smack into the middle of the mecca of capitalism, Times Square. They end up in the apartment of a Madison Avenue type marketing mogul (played by Neil Patrick Harris), struggling to sell makeup to insecure New York women. The Smurfs — far from being wary of him peddling his goods — end up giving him inspiration for his new “Blue Moon” ad campaign.
Plus, Smurfette finally tries on a different dress. (Though it’s wonderful she expressed more of her personality, beware that the Katie Perry-voiced Smurf does utter the sentence, “I kissed a Smurf and I liked it.”) Smurfette, apparently intoxicated at being able to actually change clothing, also appears on the pages of this month’s Harper’s Bazaar where she models $895 polka dotted shoes and carries a $400 Marc Jacobs hand bag.
And forget environmentalism. In the movie (spoiler alert!) the Smurfs use magic to turn the moon blue, which helps them return home and guarantees a successful “blue moon” campaign. (Did I mention, Smurfette’s handbag in Harper’s Bazaar is real fur?) The movie’s product placement alone ranges from M&Ms to FAO Schwartz to the Blue Man Group, showing that the Smurfs, far from being a communistic pawns, have finally embraced capitalism in all its forms.
If the 1980s cartoon was some hidden message about how communism beats capitalism each and every episode, then this movie’s philosophical shift is a very welcome change in deed.
It might even be the most Smurf-tastic economic news we’ve had lately.
— Nancy French is the co-author of Bristol Palin’s Not Afraid of Life and Home and Away: A Story of Family in a Time of War.
I watched the Smurfs as a kid. I loved them. They were my favorite cartoon and I never noticed the Communist connection. At first reading of this column, I thought it was a joke.
Anyway, despite the fact I didn't pick up on the political realities, I never envied the Smurf lifestyle. I didn't want my well-being subjected to the idiocy of Brainy or Clumsy Smurf. The whole community would be put in jeopardy each episode due to something stupid one of the Smurfs did. If anything the Smurfs showed me why Communism doesn't work.
I would however like to see a Smurf parody with Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, some SEIU goons and that lady that wanted Obama to pay for her mortgage. Throw in Obama's aunt too. Oh and Rahm and Ezekial Emanuel.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseDon't believe it. They're just following the Chinese model: Offer economic liberties. Crush political ones. I expect to see them cut deals with Google and Loral any day now.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseIndeed. Not "in deed." I see DWTS in your future!
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseThe famous toy store is spelled "FAO Schwarz" -- not "FAO Schwartz."
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseDid you copy-paste this post from the Onion?
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseSo this is what you get from the author of Bristol Palin's memoirs in her spare time. Why am I not surprised?
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseI thought the Smurfs represented the oppression of the poorer classes - the serfs - by the so-called nobility of the Middle Ages. They were victims of the d'roit du signeur - the right of the wealthy to take anything they produced by their toil (even their children). Maybe the Smurfs have not "given up Communism." Maybe they've succumbed to a new Dark Ages in America. Ask for a chance to improve your life? You're a lazy Communist. Ask for humane treatment of those less fortunate than yourself? You're an unpatriotic socialist. Ask yourselves this: what would Jesus do?
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseThe Smurfs/Progressive Liberals are trying to "Progress" America to one of Democratic Socialism.
This is but one more example of indoctrinating our Youth to accepting Big Government as "The Savior"
Smurfs = Useful Idiots spewing Newspeak every day.
What useful idiots DON'T realize is: They will outlive their usefulness one day.
"Barack will require you to work"
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Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseSo, we are to actually believe the Cold-War aspects of Smurfdom.
And from the 'co-writer' of a Bristol PALIN book at that? *meaning, I wrote the whole book, but I did help Bristol write her name on the cover*.
Santa Claus has a red hat. And he also has a long white beard. Oh nOOOOOO....the deliverer of consumer gifts to whiney kids is a capitalist!!!
As the 'captcha' says, I am taken aback. I never knew NRO had a comedienne other than McCarthy and K-LO. I await more enlightening reports from Ms. French.
(btw, are you going to 'co-write' Traks book, too?)
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