Fresh from the Tiger Mother firestorm, the Wall Street Journal has waded once again into controversial social territory. On Saturday, Stanford law professor Ralph Richard Banks — author of the forthcoming book, Is Marriage for White People?: How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone — urged black women to help save marriage by marrying men of other races. Black women “are the most unmarried group of people in the U.S.” and “lead by far the most segregated intimate lives of any minority group in the U.S.” According to Banks, black women are less than half as likely to marry interracially as black men and only about 1 in 20 marry across racial lines. If black women only marry black men, and if achievement gaps and high incarceration rates leave fewer eligible black men, then a marriage crisis is inevitable.
While he hasn’t hit Tiger Mother territory yet, Banks’s piece was the most-read article in the Journal over a weekend that included a debt downgrade, and he’s certainly not afraid to ask tough questions. The sociological importance of his work would be hard to overstate. By now we know that marriage is a firewall against poverty and abuse, and the decline of marriage (and not just in the black community) is a culture-shaking phenomenon. It’s also a problem that defies any easy fix, depending as it does on the deeply personal choices of millions upon millions of Americans.
My youngest daughter — adopted from Ethiopia — is only three. I’m not thinking about her first dates quite yet. In fact, I may still be in denial well after her senior prom, but Professor Banks’s article gives me reason for concern — and reason for hope. Only the foolish think their own families are immune to powerful cultural forces. At the same time, no cultural trend is irreversible, and voices like Professor Banks’s are indispensable not only in preserving perhaps our culture’s most vital institution but also in opening the eyes and hearts of a generation whose view of their own options is perhaps too narrow.
While it might be true that "black women are less than half as likely to marry interracially as black men and only about 1 in 20 marry across racial lines," it might be worth noting that it takes two to tango--and the corallary is that white men don't marry black women. It seems it might be better to focus the culture on the problem of high black incarceration rates.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseForbes, and how long should black women wait for that to happen? And any black woman with a decent amount of sense wouldn't want to date a man likely to have brushes with the prison system.
I'm glad I married interracially instead of waiting around for a solution that might never come...
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseWell, there are other men in this country than white men, if they "don't marry black women," for whatever reason some of them can think of.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseAs a black woman who married interracially in the mid 1990s (as did my sister), I think the professor makes a good point. But here's a thought: Why don't black women generally expect black men to "put up or shut up" before said women "give it up"? George Gilder makes an excellent point in his book Men and Marriage: in past generations, before they would jump in the sack, women generally required men to actually marry them. This contributed to the stability of the family, and of society in general. Black women simply need to hold out for a good, able-to-keep-his-pants-on, "'til death do us part" man (of whatever race) and things will be fine.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseThroughout history, for many, marriage was a path to social and financial stability. But who needs a spouse if, instead, you can hook your wagon to the federal government ... that is, until it is forced to declare bankruptcy under the weight of mounting dependence?
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseI think the fact that black women are much less likely to wed white men or men of other races has more to do with white men feeling intimidated by black women, and black men not being intimidated by white women. Call that what you will, that's just my honest assessment of the thing. Speaking from my own personal experience, I find lots of black women to be very attractive (especially when they are conservative) but I'll admit I wouldn't have had the cajones to ask them out because there's an impression among my peers, at least, that black women aren't inclined to like white men. Well heck, and that stereotype is constantly reinforced on TV. Friday Night Lights anyone?
I'm sure those attitudes will change in time, but I think it will lag behind black men with white women. Also for me, I could never have seriously dated a liberal. Even when in my low 20's which was about 11 years ago, I couldn't tolerate liberal women. Seeing that 90% of black people are liberals, that puts my odds even lower...
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseThat's the unspoken corollary here-- even if black women were willing to marry men of other races, are men of other races willing to marry black women?
One would figure that if they were, there would already be a trend out there, ala black men and white women, or both black & white men and Asian women.
Yeesh, what a minefield of a subject...
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseI don't know why Mr. French doesn't link to the WSJ article in question, but there the author, Mr. Banks, discusses the issues you raise. A black man, himself, he reviews the data showing that on the whole, white men don't tend to favor black women; even so, given the numbers, there remain plenty of white men to go around who do, if black women would accept them.
I have read elsewhere that, in general, men find women to be feminine according to race in the following order: Asian women, white women, black women. For women categorizing men according to masculinity, the order is the reverse: black men, white men, Asian men.
Reply to this commentLinkReport Abuse"I have read elsewhere that, in general, men find women to be feminine according to race in the following order: Asian women, white women, black women. For women categorizing men according to masculinity, the order is the reverse: black men, white men, Asian men."
Did you read that on the Internets? Must be true then :)
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseThe Internets??
I may have read it here at NRO, actually. Wherever I read it, it was backed up by a study, but I'm not asking you to accept it as Gospel. Just an interesting factoid. Do you never share information you find interesting or pertinent when you don't have the source handy?
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseWell in terms of masculinity and femininity, it's relative to how much you cultivate it. I'm black and have always been very feminine. Even when I was 3 years old I would paint my nails and love to wear frilly sundresses. The fact is, I've always loved being a female and that never changed into adulthood. As with masculinity, it's the same thing. There are plenty of masculine Asian, white, latino and black men out there. Some express it terms of attitude, acquiring resources, dominating cultures, etc. it varies according to cultural values and the individual not race.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseNot true. Banks revealed the data and found that many non-whites and non-blacks were open to black women. Also, he said that it is not hardcore racism that bars interracial relations with black women. Some men assume they'll get rejected and so forth. Attraction is attraction whether conservative or liberal, black or white. I'm a conservative black woman but I've always had a stronger attraction toward people who were different than me. It has never died but it will be nice when this country can get past the hangups and fears. Even for myself, sometimes I have them too, but I push through them because it's always worth it in the long run.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseGrowing up in the Caribbean, I observed that where there was a shade or race difference in a couple it was more often darker woman/lighter man than the reverse. I was surprised to learn it was the other way 'round with Americans.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseBut social "science" is not my thing, so I don't have any ideas as to why this is so.
Hardcastle, thanks for pointing out my mistake. I've added in the link.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseI remember reading a while back about a study that found that the prevelance of interracial pairings is primarily determined by the women. Men just aren't as concerned about the race of their partner as women are.
Men do have their preferences, but I suspect they're just not as uptight about some of the cultural and societal issues that come with dating someone from another country or race.
I generally find it annoying when people comment on the security value they have to type in, but really! "BONOBOS"??? How are these things selected?
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseRE: CAPTCHA: QUIT TRYING TO MAKE ME PLAY SOME BULL**** (i.e. "Click Play to reveal the security code" or some animated nonsense). I WILL TYPE WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST DON'T MAKE ME SIT THROUGH MINITARD THEATER FIRST. THANK YOU. I skip over the one that says, "I promise to..." because, frankly, I don't promise to and it bugs the bejesus out of me to have to feign that. I'm sorry, but I take my promises seriously...especially when in Rome.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
I dated equal opportunity. The people around me didn't. Some didn't approve. This White Guy married a White Girl. This is evidence of - wait for it...holding...holding...holding... - *absolutely nothing*.
Don't play into this identity politics stuff. Don't give it an audience.
Diversity is accidental when done right.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseI read that interesting piece in the WSJ. I agree, black women should be more open to marrying outside of their race (as should everyone else), I was shocked to hear that 70% are unmarried, I knew it was high, but I didn't think it was that high. Actually my cousin (who is white) married a black woman, My very large extended family is quite mixed, and it's great, it makes for better and more interesting food at family get togethers. Having a little Chinese food with the turkey and stuffing on Thanksgiving day is a nice twist, and so is having some Italian food and some Spanish food on the same plate when we have our potluck family reunion. Someone though is going to have to marry an Indian (from India), the one thing we're missing is Indian food, which I love yet can't get back home.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseI've read elsewhere that men tend to look for women like their mother to marry, and women tend to look for men like their father.
For a personal example, I have an uncle who married an hispanic woman. They have 5 kids. Everyone of the girls married an anglo, and everyone of the boys married an hispanic.
I haven't seen any new numbers in a few years, but the rate of inter racial marriages has been increasing for at least 20 to 30 years.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseRE: "I've read elsewhere that men tend to look for women like their mother to marry, and women tend to look for men like their father."
There's a West Virginia joke in there somewhere... :D
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseMy take on this is that the problem of extra promiscuity and the NEED for concurrent relationships on the part pf black men is a value based on ego and selfishness. The outcome is that we pay a HUGE price for extra health care of AIDs , and sexually transmitted diseases, disenfranchised families, and bitter women. Yet no one dares to address the worship of gangsta, the ultra testosterone image of multiple women, and the fact that the next generation of black boys is being raised with this same SLACKNESS. My theory is that sexual "initiation" of young black men takes place so young and by women who are family and friends. In my world this is child abuse and is the formula to create a sexaholic incapable of intimacy and this is where Banks comes up short.. What say you?
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