President Obama has notified Congress that he has unilaterally decided to begin sending what will eventually be about 100 combat troops to jump into the war in … Uganda.
The objective is “the removal of Joseph Kony from the battlefield.” Kony heads up a faction called the Lord’s Resistance Army, a terrifying militia that has long waged civil war against the regime of — well, why am I explaining? I mean, you must know all this stuff. After all, the president’s letter says our national security interests are at stake. And didn’t Kony just try to rub out the Saudi ambassador or something? This’ll teach him to mess with us. Oh, he didn’t mess with us? Well, whatever — “duty to protect,” right? I’ll just add that our troops will be supporting the regime of Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni, who seized power in 1986, has held it ever since, and is widely believed to have fixed the last, er, election. African Spring, I guess.