Breaking News

by Jonah Goldberg

When I was born, I was the 3,599,609,639th person alive and the 77,678,468,066th “person to have lived since history began.” The weird thing is that when I did the math myself, I came up with 3,599,609,635 and 77,678,469,197 respectively.

I leave it to others to debate the merits of these calculations.

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