Out of money, an OWS protester uses an ATM and it asks if he will accept a $1 fee. He knows the money will just go to a greedy, corrupt bank. Does he hit “Yes”?
Sure, it’s his parents’ card anyway.
A criminal, an OWS protester, and a former ACORN staffer climb into a tent.
It’s a one-person tent.
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar; an OWS protester walks into a baton.
Roseanne Barr, Anne Hathaway, Michael Moore, Kanye West, and Susan Sarandon attend protests against economic inequality.
Roseanne Barr, Anne Hathaway, Michael Moore, Kanye West, and Susan Sarandon attend protests against economic inequality.
John Keynes, Friedrich Hayek, and Karl Marx walk past an OWS demonstration. “Idiots,” says Hayek. No one disagrees.
A weary OWS protester returns to college.
Roommate: “How are you?”
Protester: “Not so great. I have body lice, the flu, and a screaming case of gonorrhea.”
Roommate: “You caught the flu?”
What’s the difference between Barack Obama’s nebulous whatever-you-want-it-to-mean 2008 campaign and OWS?
Three years.
What’s the difference between intentionally provoking a caged bear in a zoo and intentionally provoking a tired cop in Manhattan?
Bearbaiting is illegal.
What’s the difference between Rick Perry and the aimlessness of OWS?
Rick Perry is debatable.
What’s the difference between the NBA and OWS?
People are waiting for one to come back and for the other to go away.
What’s the difference between the Philadelphia Eagles and OWS?
It was reasonable to have high expectations of the Eagles.
What’s the difference between soccer and OWS?
Goals.
How many OWS protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
The question is irrelevant: none of them can agree on what "change" means and they don't believe in electric lighting anyway.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseOWS protestors don't *change* lightbulbs. They just sit around *hoping* someone else will.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseOWS is way too sustainable to worry about light bulbs. Unfortunately, the obvious alternative light source for our campers has died thanks to the switch from applause to "up twinkles."
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseOn the humor front, here's one for all the conspiracy theorists. An illegal alien, a Muslim, and a communist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get you, Mr. President?"
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseNot exactly knee-slappers.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseWell, they won't make the Tonight Show. I did slightly chuckle at one or two.
Reply to this commentLinkReport Abuse"Not quite up to the level of Jay Leno-funny" pretty much defines conservative comedy.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseDon't quit your day job. Cordially, Bill
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseJokes are so lame. Just go with punch lines:
1. No, but if you help me find my Jeep I'll drive us both outta here!
2. "Usually a couple of candy bars."
3. "#$!@&! him. Give him a buck."
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseHo ho! There those liberal fascists go again, forcing that poor boot to stomp their faces.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseTwo female OWS protesters are talking. The first says, "Last night, I was sexually assaulted last night. What should I do if it happens again?"
The second replies, "When it happens to me, I just lie back and think of the proletariat."
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseOops. One too many "last nights" in the setup.
I really need and editor.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseA woman runs up to a cop and says, "Help me, I was just raped by an OWS protester."
Cop says, "How do you know he was an OWS protester."
Woman says, "I had to help."
(Standard disclaimer: There is nothing funny about sexual assault.)
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseWow.
If humor is a weapon, it appears there really have been some steep cuts to the defense budget.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseNow that was funny!
I actually did get a chuckle out the one about the Eagles. It's helps revive my good sprits after the game last night.
Who is Michael Northup? His one post on the Corner was this one ugh...
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseMark Twain, who knew a little bit about satire (or, as he termed it, "burlesque") explained why the OWS jokes are so lame:
There are some things which cannot be burlesqued, for the simple reason that in themselves they are so extravagant and grotesque that nothing is left for burlesque to take hold of...it uses up all the material itself. External Link
Were Twain alive today, I'm convinced he would concede defeat at any attempt to satirize the OWSers - they use up all the material themselves.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseWhat's worse than being assaulted by an OWS protester? Being assaulted by these feeble jokes. Reader's Digest, people...
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseSeen on a t-shirt worn by a kid in Deland, Florida:
My mom went to Zuccotti Park, and all I got was a call to bail her out.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseHow many OWS protestors does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they pay the Unions to do it for them.
What's the theme song of OWS again? "Look for the Union Label"
What I always wondered is why we never saw any send-up jokes like this about the Tea Party...
How many Tea Partiers does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but only after he says the pledge and makes the secret trek to his stash of incandescents.
Is it that conservatives can see humor in the opposition where liberals can only hate?
Reply to this commentLinkReport Abuseleast heard questions at OWS
"can I borrow your soap"
Reply to this commentLinkReport Abuse