These Boots Were Made For Slaughter

by Jonah Goldberg

If this will work, it’s fine by me. From a reader:


Hi Jonah,

Big fan of yours both on NRO and on your appearances on Ricochet.

I will call you a big fat RINO :) because the solution doesn’t need to involve the government at all… at least not the Federal government. The State may need to declare the Burmese Python a non-game animal, but…

A pair of python cowboy boots runs some $200 or so from reputable manufacturers. All that needs to happen is for Justin, Dan Post, Lucchese, and the like to setup a factory in Florida, advertise to all and sundry that they will pay for as many burmese pythons as can be brought in, and then start selling high quality python cowboy boots, belts, wallets, etc. for $50 a pair.

Hollywood can show its ecological sensitivity by having its stars and starlets show up for various award shows clad in Burmese python footwear, jackets, and the like. Fashion mags can join in the crusade by declaring Burmese Python to be the new “IN” thing for fall, 2012.

National Review can start giving away a handsome Burmese Python wallet to all subscribers, and guys like Weekly Standard can quickly follow suit.

Manufacturing jobs will be created all over the country, as workers get busy processing Burmese Python hide into various consumer leather goods. Investors will make out like bandits. Government will get more taxes.

Government bounties are still financed by taxpayer dollars, and those Burmese Python corpses will just go into a landfill or be cremated. No no, let entrepreneurs with greedy twinkles in their eyes take over and make money from the invasive giant child-eating snakes. The Pythons will erect the monument to genocide that way too. :)


And, from another reader:

Jonah,The solution is quite simple.  Allow hunting of the pythons.  Python skins make a premium leather.  Very fashionable for women’s shoes, purses, belts etc.Also, traditionally states have placed bounties on predators when they become pests.  Place a $50 bounty for each python head delivered to the Fish and Game warden and let the hunter keep the hide and it won’t be long before there is no more python problem.

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