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Why Can’t Olbermann Find Happiness? Why? WHY?!?!


I should probably have waited to write this post until I had some time to collect my thoughts, you know, really let it sink in. But no matter what I do, I know I can’t wish this away. So I guess I’ll just come right out and say it. Whew, here goes: Keith Olbermann. . . . well, folks, Keith Olbermann is parting ways with Current TV.

I know, I know. Words don’t really suffice. Except Keith’s. Those suffice.

Here’s his statement:

I’d like to apologize to my viewers and my staff for the failure of Current TV. Editorially, Countdown had never been better. But for more than a year I have been imploring Al Gore and Joel Hyatt to resolve our issues internally, while I’ve been not publicizing my complaints, and keeping the show alive for the sake of its loyal viewers and even more loyal staff. Nevertheless, Mr. Gore and Mr. Hyatt, instead of abiding by their promises and obligations and investing in a quality news program, finally thought it was more economical to try to get out of my contract. It goes almost without saying that the claims against me implied in Current’s statement are untrue and will be proved so in the legal actions I will be filing against them presently. To understand Mr. Hyatt’s “values of respect, openness, collegiality and loyalty,” I encourage you to read of a previous occasion Mr. Hyatt found himself in court for having unjustly fired an employee. That employee’s name was Clarence B. Cain. In due course, the truth of the ethics of Mr. Gore and Mr. Hyatt will come out. For now, it is important only to again acknowledge that joining them was a sincere and well-intentioned gesture on my part, but in retrospect a foolish one. That lack of judgment is mine and mine alone, and I apologize again for it.

We don’t yet know the details of the dispute that led to Olbermann’s apparent ouster barely more than forty weeks into his five-year, $50 million contract, though the Times says Current cut him loose for failing to honor the terms of his contract. But, seriously, what kind of awful luck does he have that he keeps running into these unreasonable, unprofessional, two-timing, back-stabbing television executives? I mean, network after network after network, the same kind of low-down, no-good greedy fatcats who wouldn’t know a visionary news commentator if it bit them on theass. Why can’t Keith just meet one nice network head who loves him for him, who understands what a precious little snowflake he is?

One day, Olby, I don’t know when, but you’re gonna get to that place where you really wanna go. And you’ll walk in the sun. Til then, tramps like you, baby you were born to run.


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