Court in the Act

by Mark Steyn

The National Review Institute “whither conservatism?” summit has come to a close. Lots of buoyant optimism from Mia Love, Scott Walker, Ted Cruz, Bobby Jindal et al., but on Saturday night Jonah Goldberg, Rob Long and yours truly — the world’s oldest boy band — did our best to reduce the crowd to total despair.

While in town, I also made my debut appearance in D.C. Superior Court for the opening round of the 21st century’s very own Scopes Monkey Trial — because if you have to go to Washington you might as well combine a late-night cabaret gig with a court date. (In separate cases, Jonah pleaded guilty to crimes against humanity, and Rob got his restraining order renewed.) I see the plaintiff, self-proclaimed Nobel laureate Michael Mann, is claiming yet again that all his tormentors are secretly funded by the Koch brothers, but, if there are any Koch brothers, Koch sisters, Koch great-uncles and second cousins, etc., who haven’t yet chipped in, our legal defense fund is still open, and all contributions are gratefully received.

If you missed me in Washington, here’s your chance to miss me in Michigan. I’ll be making my annual appearance at Hillsdale College this Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the sports arena. It’s a mere stone’s throw from Indiana, Ohio, the Upper Peninsula, and northern Ontario. No Rob and Jonah this time. So a third of the laughs, but three times as much apocalyptic doom.

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