A Feast of Pure Reason

by Fred Schwarz

This morning’s New York Times says The New Republic is “the journalism equivalent of high-fiber pasta.”  Like much of what I read in the Times, that’s a little too Zen for me, but it got me thinking about what sort of food National Review might correspond to. Here are some possibilities:

 A nice big bowl of Lucky Charms. Start with the plain beige cereal part:  That represents writers like Ramesh and VDH, whose stuff is tasty and filled with vitamins, establishing a solid base. The marshmallow bits are guys like Lileks and Rob Long, who add color and variety and a bit of crunchiness. And the milk is Rich and the editorial staff, who provide context and hold everything together, hopefully without making it too soggy. Or, returning to the pasta theme . . .

 Farfalle with prosciutto and green peas. Farfalle because of all the conservatives who wear bow ties; prosciutto because with its rich, aged flavor, created using methods that have been passed down for centuries, it represents the accumulated wisdom of the ages; and peas because they go so well with prosciutto.

 A peanut-butter sandwich. Because NR’s editors have been quite partial to them over the years.

 Chop suey. Back in the mid-20th century, when every Chinese restaurant still had chop suey on the menu, the standard joke about Chinese food was that an hour after eating it, you were hungry again. The same principle applies to the Corner, which keeps its readers coming back to get the latest updates.

 Yorkshire pudding. In recognition of the deep and longstanding British influence on NR — though, if you’re borrowing from the Brits, better ideas than food, right?

Don’t know what we’d have for dessert, except maybe a dobostorte with only three layers — because seven would be wasteful (it’s Austrian, after all).

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