How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love North Korea’s Final Cut Pro

by Jillian Kay Melchior

Today, North Korea’s state-run media posted a strange new video, briefly available on YouTube, that one can only posit was intended to threaten the United States, but failed miserably:

It begins by showing a presumably North Korean man, contentedly asleep and dreaming of a missile launch. The song “We Are the World” blares, and the missile goes shooting out into space. You see clouds. You see Earth. Sometimes, you see animated sparkles. And then, an American flag pops up. New York is depicted burning. This dream will “surely” happen, the video prophetically concludes.

It would be disturbing if it weren’t so unintentionally hilarious — I had to double-check that it wasn’t made by the Onion.

Well, before I could even post on this video, the story got more ridiculous.

TechCrunch reports that North Korea stole its missile footage from a Modern Warfare 3 cut-scene. Activision has apparently complained to YouTube, which has taken it down. Activision, of course, is an American gaming company.

I’m also betting North Korea didn’t get permission to use “We Are the World,” which was written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie, both pretty loyal Americans, far as I know.

So to clarify: North Korea tries to intimidate America, but it can’t even come up with its own theme song or animated footage to do so. This has got to be the lamest war cry ever.

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