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Please Don’t Shoot the Piano Player


Or the messenger, for that matter. From the way the GOP tiptoes around messaging issues, you’d think they were Brentwood burglars worrying about those “Armed Response” signs on the front lawns of Hollywood houses in gun-free zones. And yet, the idea that conservatives should – much less actually can – compete on the playing fields of Santa Monica Boulevard remains an alien concept to the Rotary Club golfers who make up the Republican “leadership” and the party’s major donors. An industry friend writes:

As we approach the White House Correspondent’s dinner on April 27th, Deadline Hollywood is out with a list of the celebrities who’ve been invited to grace the tables of various news organizations. It probably shouldn’t come as a surprise that New Jersey’s Republican governor Chris Christie will be sitting with Arianna Huffington, as they both seem to lean more to the politics of opportunism than any given particular political affiliation.

But the real news this year — if you can call this “news” — is that the entertainment portion of the evening will feature a Dem-friendly parody of the Netflix series “House of Cards,” with Joe Biden in the Kevin Spacey role. Never mind that this whole annual event has become unseemly, with the Fourth Estate sitting like lap dogs, preening in the reflected glory of their celebrity dinner companions while braying for attention — a nod, or a wink of recognition — from our celebrity President.

If your side is going to remain in contention, and not be the subject of constant Alinsky-dictated ridicule, (which will surely be the point of the Biden/“House of Cards” parody) you’ve got to punch back — or in this case, beat them to the punch. Isn’t there somebody out there who can cut together your own version of “House of Cards,” with Obama himself in the role of the evil manipulator, determined to bring our country down?

To which I would say, probably not. But that’s par for the course for the Stupid Party, which would rather blow its funds on polling three precincts in Cincinnati so that next time — for sure! — the GOP might, maybe, possibly, win the all-important, crucial, Only State That Matters, Ohio, rather than using them to reach a boatload of low-info voters with a little entertainment.

The other guys? As I’ve said before, they never stop, they never sleep, they never quit. Gee, a show about four wacky Republican senators sharing a crash pad on Capitol Hill — inspired, by sheer coincidence, by two Democratic senators (Chuck Schumer, Dick Durbin), and two Democratic representatives. We’ll laugh, we’ll cry as those lovable but inept scamps go about the business of trying to, well, you know . . . stop the Democrats . . . as hilarity ensues:

Alpha House is the creation of Doonesbury’s Garry Trudeau and also features Bloomberg View columnist Jonathan Alter as an executive producer. The pilot episode plants the seeds for some interesting plot lines to be unraveled in future episodes: Sen. Gil John Biggs, a retired basketball coach played by Goodman, is forced to actually do the dirty work of political campaigning after he discovers that Duke University’s current basketball coach plans to challenge him in the next election. Sen. Andy Guzman, played by Mark Consuelos, is the house’’ newest roommate and a young senator with a healthy appetite for sexual liasons. And Louis Laffer, played by Matt Malloy, promotes a staunchly anti-gay marriage position while consistently being questioned on his own masculinity.

All this and Senate cloakroom sex, too! With a cameo appearance by Stephen Colbert, “who ends up wrestling with Laffer to prove the senator’s manlihood.” It’s sure to be a laff riot, and the joke’s on you.


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