The Beauty of Obamacare . . .

by Peter Kirsanow

. . . is not so much that tens of millions will have their substandard health-care plans from bad-apple insurers canceled but that they will go to Obamacare exchanges to buy much more expensive substandard plans from bad-apple insurers, in order to subsidize people who don’t have substandard health insurance from bad-apple insurers but can now get substandard health insurance from bad-apple insures even if it’s with a deductible so high that they effectively don’t have health insurance, substandard or otherwise. But their plans will at least cover contraceptives and abortifacients for the millions of fecund 60-year-olds who had nothing else to do and got pregnant when Ted Cruz shut down the government so they couldn’t get contraceptives from their doctors who aren’t in their substandard plan’s provider network, mainly because they unnecessarily perform amputations and tonsillectomies for extra cash which they’ll now need because they’ll be getting low reimbursement rates from the tremendous increase in Medicaid patients. Who had no trouble enrolling on because the other 42 Obamacare applicants were busy reporting to the FBI that all their medical and financial information has been hacked by Republicans determined to make Obamacare look as bad as they’ve made the IRS look when it tried to protect our federal government from tea partiers who want to keep their substandard plans primarily because they’re racists who blame the president for the failed stimulus, the stagnant economy, high unemployment, doubling the national debt, the 47 million on food stamps, the 48 million in poverty, declining household incomes, Kathleen Sebelius, Fast and Furious, Benghazi, and Iran’s getting a nuclear weapon next year, none of which the president knew about until he heard about them from news reports like everybody else. And all of which are George W. Bush’s fault.

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