Slate’s Legal Correspondent Confronts Question of Which Supreme Court Justice Most Resembles an IUD

by Katherine Connell

In her Slate column, Dahlia Lithwick answers the question on no one else’s mind but hers following yesterday’s Supreme Court oral argument: If the Supreme Court justices were methods of birth control, what would they be?

You know those ubiquitous BuzzFeed quizzes? The ones trying to help you determine what brand of peanut butter or which Game of Thrones character you are? Well it’s hard not to walk out of oral argument this morning in Sebelius v. Hobby Lobby and Conestoga Wood v. Sebelius without being forced to confront a similar, but perhaps more awkward, question: What kind of contraceptive method are you? . . .

One thing that was immediately clear Tuesday morning: There is finally a women’s team at the high court. For most of Clement’s 45-minute argument on behalf of the two religious objectors, the only questions come from the court’s three women, Sonia Sotomayor (the patch: tenacious, hardworking, and unshakable), Elena Kagan (the pill: unobtrusive yet sneakily effective), and Ruth Bader Ginsburg (IUD: deceptively small, monstrously potent, and lasts forever).

Justice Alito is the morning-after pill because he possesses hindsight, etc.